Three blondes died and are up talking to St. Peter. He says, "I have
one question and if you get it I will let you into heaven."
He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answers, "Oh, that's that one time of the year when our whole
family gets together and we eat turkey."
St. Peter just shakes his head and says to the next blonde, "What is
Easter?"
She answers, "Oh, that is the time of year when our family gets
together and we all open presents and the fat jolly guy comes down the
chimney."
Again St. Peter just shakes his head. He asks the third blonde, "What
is Easter?"
She says, "Oh that's when Christ died and they put him in a tomb and
rolled a rock in front of it."
St. Peter smiles and urges, "Yes... go on..."
The blonde continues, "Then once a year we roll the stone away and he
comes out and if he sees his shadow we have six more weeks of winter."
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Why did they have to stop doing the wave at the Skydome in Toronto?
Beacause a blonde drowned in it.
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Two immigrants arrive in the United States and are discussing the
difference between the Old Country and the U.S. One of them says that
he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to
fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot
dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at
it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"What part did you get?"
==========
What do you call parachuting lawyers?
Skeet.
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The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze
class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to
breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary
assurances at this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is
especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take
the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group
raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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