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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
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Subject: Jokes 824
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Date: Sun, 24 Aug 2008 06:35:12 GMT
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Gorilla Language
A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage at the zoo one day,
when a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his
eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy
senseless.
When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the
zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your
eyelid means "screw you" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't
make the victim feel any better - and he vowed revenge.
The next day, he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party
horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he
hurried to the zoo and went right up to the gorilla's cage where he
opened up his bag of goodies. Knowing that gorillas were natural
mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, reached
through the bars, grabbed a hat from the bag, and put it on.
Next, the guy picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla reached
out, picked up his horn, and did the same. Then the man picked up his
knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half.
The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at
the man, and pulled down his eyelid.
==========
Fairy Tale For Our Times
A Fairy Tale for the Woman of the New Millennium:
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant
meadow near her castle.The frog hopped into the Princess' lap.
"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast
a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into
the dapper, young Prince that I am! Then, my sweet, we can marry and
set up housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother, where you can
prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so."
That night, on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs legs seasoned in a
white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself.
"I don't f-ing think so."
==========
Dangerous Squirrels
A man, Bob, and his friend Joe went out hunting. This was Joe's first
time ever hunting, so he was following Bob's lead. Bob saw a small
herd of deer and told Joe to stay in the exact spot he was and to be
quiet! After a few minutes, Bob heard a loud scream. He ran back and
slittered across my feet, but I never screamed. Then there was this
==========
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