| ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA and SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL |
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| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/07/29 22:37 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA and SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
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Date: Wed, 30 Jul 2008 04:37:41 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:7095
ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA
SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start
Own Clubs
in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they
had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way
eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush
warned of his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as
having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as
Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
"Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're
the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of
Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi
President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In
World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So
you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift,
as within minutes, France surrendered.
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in
what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia
said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to
join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while
Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much
Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs
filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called
the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be
Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the
Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty
Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand
established the Axis of Countries That Sometimes Ask Sheep to Wear
Lipstick.
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said
Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps
making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes,
although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose
Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false
application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the
charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
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