FROM OUTER SPACE
it's late at night when a UFO crash lands in the middle of a huge
field. the emergency ramp lowers and four aliens walk down, all a bit
dased and confused. there's a captain alien, a navigator alien, a
translator alien, and a colonel alien, and the funny thing about these
aliens is that they look remarkably like petrol pumps, not exactly but
pretty close. so the alien captain decides they will explore this
strange land in search of intelligent lifeforms. they travel across
the field for about hour until they come to a road. so they travel
down the road for another hour or so until they come to a one pump
petrol station. the aliens are intrigued, keeping in mind that they
look similar to a petrol pump, they think they have found a similar
species to their own. so the captain walks up to the pump and says, in
his alien language "hello, we are looking for intelligent lifeforms,
take us to the nearest city"... nothing, the petrol pump doesn't
reply. so the captain turns to his translator and tells him to
translate what he just said into a hundred different languages in the
hopes that the 'being' might understand. so the translator does as he
is told... still nothing. at this point the captain is getting very
frustrated. he pulls out a ray gun, points it at the petrol pump and
says "listen you deformed piece of sh*t, take us to the nearest city
or i'll blow your f*cking brains out"... again there is no reply
what-so-ever from the petrol pump so the irrate captain shoots the ray
gun point blank at the pump. there is a huge explosion which sends all
four aliens flying into the air. later on the aliens come back to
consciousness and the captain, rather dazed and confused, turns to his
colonel and says "what the f*ck just happened???" to which the colonel
alien replies
"sir, if i've told you once, i've told you a million bloody times. YOU
DON'T MESS WITH A GUY THAT CAN WRAP HIS D*CK AROUND HIS WAIST AND
STICK IT IN HIS EAR!!!"
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