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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
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Subject: THE Marine Corps Version of Genesis 1
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Date: Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:08:01 GMT
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THE Marine Corps Version of Genesis 1
In the beginning was the word, and the word was God.
In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness and void, and
without form. So God created the heavens and the Earth. He created the
sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the
darkness. The Earth, God divided between the land and the sea, and
these he filled with many assorted creatures.
And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths
of the oceans, God called sailors. And He dressed them accordingly.
They had little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom. And
their shirts had cute little flaps on them to hide the hickeys on
their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking
beards. God nicknamed them "squids" and banished them to a lifetime at
sea, so that normal folks would not have to associate with them. To
further identify these unloved creatures, He called them "petty" and
"commodore" instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men.
And the flaky creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a
twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God
made their trousers too short and their covers too large. He also made
their pockets oversized, so that they may warm their hands. And to
adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a
dime store owner could appreciate. And He gave them emblems and
crests... and all sorts of shiny things that glittered...and devices
that dangled. (When you are God you tend to get carried away.)
On the 6th day, He thought about creating some air creatures for which
he designed a Greyhound bus driver's uniform, especially for Air Force
flyboys. But He discarded the idea during the first week, and it was
not until years later that some apostles resurrected this theme and
established what we now know as the "Wild-Blue-Yonder Wonders."
And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested.
But on the 8th day, at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was
not happy. No, God was not happy! So He thought about His labors, and
in His divine wisdom God created a divine creature. And this He called
Marine. And these Marines, who God had created in His own image, were
to be of the air, and of the land, and of the sea. And these He gave
many wonderful uniforms. Some were green; some were blue with red
trim. And in the early days, some were even a beautiful tan. He gave
them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against
the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them service uniforms for their
daily work and training. And He gave them evening and dress
uniforms... sharp and stylish, handsome things... so that they might
promenade with their ladies on Saturday night and impress the hell out
of everybody! He even gave them swords, so that people who were not
impressed could be dealt with accordingly. And at the end of the 8th
day, God looked down upon the earth and saw that it was good. But was
God happy? No! God was still not happy! Because in the course of His
labors, He had forgotten one thing: He did not have a Marine uniform
for himself. He thought about it, and thought about it, and finally
God satisfied Himself in knowing that, well... not everybody can be a
Marine!
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