| United Nations combined strike force |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/07/21 23:18 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: United Nations combined strike force
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Date: Tue, 22 Jul 2008 05:18:46 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:7030
There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined
strike force with troops from several nations included in it.
Could it work? Let's take a look at one operation. A combined force
beach landing on a tropical island.
When the troops hit the beach.........
* The Royal Marines go fishing.
* The US Marines wait for CNN to arrive.
* The French don't care whose beach it is; it's French territory
now, and say the English gave them no other choice.
* The Canadians watch the Americans very closely, then offer to
guard their landing strip.
* The Dutch have a beach party and smoke some dope saying the
English don't understand them.
* The Italians go sunbathing.
* The Germans land and build a car factory.
* The West Indians go looking for the Dutch.
* The Austrians just watch the Russians and Germans.
* The Chinese win the natives hearts and minds then kill them.
* The SEALs arrive after dark and kill anyone who is not a SEAL.
* The Aussies and Kiwis land then start fighting each other over a
sheep.
* The South Americans send a contingent of 2000 generals.
* The South Africans start shooting at anyone with a tan.
* The Saudi's start drilling for oil.
* The Russians open a chain of massage parlours.
* The Brit airborne troops get charged with murder even though
they have not opened fire yet.
* The Spanish are late.
* The Portuguese are late but blame the Spaniards.
* Delta Force makes a movie about the landing.
* The Greeks and Turks turn up then send a bill to the Yanks and
Brits.
* The British Army cannot come because all six of them have flu.
* The Japanese don't know who owns what ships and decide to sink
them all.
* The Californian National Guard contingent won't land until
someone opens a Starbucks.
* The New Yorkers paint their Amtrak's yellow and will take you
ashore for 50 bucks.
* The Irish Army will be late because they say they are still
celebrating St. Patrick's Day.
* The Israeli's start building a kibbutz and shell the
Palestinians as a precaution.
* The Scandinavians like it off shore and stay there killing
whales for the Japanese.
* The Polish tunnel under the beach looking for coal.
* The Palestinians say it used to be theirs but the English gave
it away.
* The Oklahomans have no damn idea what a beach is.
* The Scottish claim to have found the beach first but accuse the
English of stealing it.
* The Texans look for anyone bad mouthing them.
* The Mexicans invade Arizona by mistake.
* The Welsh say it's King Arthur's last resting place but the
English stole it.
* The Swiss apply for a bank charter.
* The Lybians blow up two UN planes.
* The UN will send an Ambassador if the member states pay their
dues.
* The Kentuckians open a KFC.
* The Panamanians ask the U.S. what they should do.
* The Floridians demand a recount and free Prozac.
* The EU want to set up a commission of 50,000 administrators paid
for by the English.
* The Swedes just want to screw.
* The Michigan contingent issue a safety recall and sue General
Motors.
* The Matell Corp. sends 10,000 GI Joe's and one Barbie.
* Some guy from Tennessee swears that Elvis and Jimmy Dean are
just over the dunes.
* The Romanians and Albanians finally arrive and surrender.
* The Coloradans cut off the Kansan's water supply.
* H. M. The Queen will give anyone a Knighthood if they can grab
her a few hundred acres or find a job for Charles.
* The New Hampshire contingent declares that everyone there is
Sooooo Cruel and open a soup kitchen.
* The North Koreans have no idea what is going on but blame
America anyway.
* Washington State NG builds a monument to Bill Gates.
* The Pakistanis build a Motel Six, a convenience store and gas
station.
* Jimmy Carter arrives and declares peace.
* George W. Bush doesn't know where the island is, so he orders
the U.S. Airforce to bomb Hawaii.
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