"::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net> wrote in
news:md5k74tmsv6s5ntjnr79bdjro3fbn08t53@4ax.com:
>
>
> The Cave
>
> To All Al Queda Fighters
> From: Bin Laden, Osama
> Subject: The Cave
>
> Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've
> really
> come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are
> fighting
> a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have
> few concerns:
>
> First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles,
> we
> should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to
> avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we
> need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rota
> have
> you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to
> the halal toaster).
>
> Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm
> trying
> to scare the sh*t out of most of the world's population, okay? That
> means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the
> background or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.
>
> Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy"
> on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea
> slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
>
> Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance
> ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant
> "Ossy Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.
>
> Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA SH*GS DONKEYS" on the group
> toilet wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was
> relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.
>
> Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse
> that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the
> edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys,
> there is a grey area.)
>
> Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise
> trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for
> them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.
>
> Love you lots,
> Group Hug.
>
>
> Os.
>
All your lost LOLS re-instated.
Mercury.
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