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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Stories 26 (More Darwin Awards)
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Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2008 04:18:02 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:6859
[UPI, Spain] A poacher Marino Malerba, shot a
stag standing above him on an overhanging rock-and
was killed instantly when it fell on him.
=====
[Associated Press,Kincaid, W. VA] A man at a
party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit
down, triggering an explosion that blew off his
lips, teeth and tongue, state police said
Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the
blasting cap as a prank during a party late
Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man
had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and
was trying to explode it," Payne said. "It
wouldn't go off and this guy said, "I'll show you
how to set it off." "He put it in his mouth and
bit down. It blew all his teeth off, his tongue
and his lips," Payne said. Stromyer was listed in
guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial
injuries, according to a spokesman at Charleston
Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
anyone doing something like that," Payne said.
=====
[UPI,Portland, OR] Doctors at Portland's
University Hospital said Wednesday an Oregon man
shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky
to be alive, and will be released soon from the
hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye
last weekend during an initiation into a men's
rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants
Pass,Ore. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off
his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right
eye. Doctors said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter
to the left, a major blood vessel would have cut
and Roberts would have died instantly.
Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the University
Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8
to 10 inches of brain, with the tip protruding at
the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss
all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said had
Robert tried to pull the arrow out on his own he
surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted
afterwards he and his friends had been drinking
that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so
dumb about this." (I would feel 'dumb' too if that
much of my brain had been skewered - KEB)
No charges have been filed but the Josephine County
district attorney's office said the initiation stunt
is under investigation.
=====
John Pernicky and friend Sal Hawkins, of the great
state of Washington, decided to attend a local
Metallica concert at the Amphitheater at George,
Washington. Having no tickets (but 18 beers among
them) they sat in the parking lot, and after
finishing the beer, decided that it would be easy
enough to hop over the nine-foot high fence and
sneak into the show. The two friends pulled their
pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was
for John--100 pounds heavier than Sal-to hop over,
and then assist his friend over the fence.
Unfortunately for John, there was a 30 foot drop
on the other side of the fence. Having heaved
himself over, he found himself crashing through a
tree. His fall was abruptly halted by a large
branch which snagged him by his shorts. Dangling
from the tree, with one arm broken, John looked
down and saw a group of bushes below him. Figuring
the bushes would break his fall, John removed his
pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts
to free himself from the tree. When finally free,
John crashed below into Holly bushes. The sharp
leaves scratched his entire body and now being
without his shorts, he was the unwilling victim
of a holly branch penetrating his rectal cavity.
To make matters worse, his pocket knife proceeded
to fall with him and landed three inches into his
left thigh. Seeing his friend in considerable pain
and agony, Sal decided to throw him a rope and pull
him to safety. However, weighing about 100 pounds
less, he decided the best course of action would
be to tie the rope to the pickup truck. This is
when things went from bad to worse. In his drunken
state, Sal put the truck into the wrong
gear,pressed on the gas, and crashed through the
fence, landing on and killing his friend. Sal was
thrown from the truck, suffered massive internal
injuries and also died at the scene. Police
arrived to find a pickup truck with its driver
thrown 100 feet from the vehicle and upon moving
the truck, a half naked man, with numerous
scratches, a holly stick up his rectum, a knife in
his thigh, and a pair of shorts dangling from the
tree branches 25 feet in the air.
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