| Jokes 26 |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/06/26 22:04 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Jokes 26
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Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2008 04:04:54 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:6858
A missionary is sent into deepest darkest depths of Africa to live
with a tribe. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read,
write and good Christian values. One thing he particularly stresses is
the evil of sexual sin. ?Thou must not commit adultery or fornication!
One day the wife of one of the Tribe?s noblemen gives birth to a white
baby. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his people to
talk with the missionary.
You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black woman
gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man who has ever
set foot in our village. Anyone can see what?s going on here!
The missionary replies, ?No, no, my good man. You are mistaken. What
you have here is a natural occurrence - what is called an albino. Look
to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep, and yet amongst them
is one black one. Nature does this on occasion.
The chief pauses for a moment then says, Tell you what, you don?t say
anything about the sheep, I won?t say anything about the white baby.
=====
The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a
sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very
important client.
The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the
secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss
told her, ...don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of
a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.
So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry
you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a
75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."
The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says,
"No problem!! I have. I have."
Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man,
"I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation
home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in
France." The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular
phone and calls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at
the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."
Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows
that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to
think and finally she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She
squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I
like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch penis."
The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and
rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African
dialect.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head,
looking really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. I
cut."
=====
Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife's beside. It was
difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, as
her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "Bill darling," she
breathed. "I've got a confession to make before I go... I ... I'm the
one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house ... I spent it on
a fling with your best friend Jimmy. And it was I who forced your
mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I'm afraid I also
was the one who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion..."
"That's all right dearest; don't even give it a second thought." said
Bill. "I have a small confession too. I'm the one
who poisoned you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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