"::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net> wrote in
news:b1rv5492n03pq7tcv1ur2oqerf639idf5e@4ax.com:
> On Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:21:32 GMT, WingedMessenger <Boy@FlyingHigh.com>
> wrote:
>
>>Did you hear about the lawyer who was so big that when he died they
>>couldn't find a coffin big enough to hold the body, so they gave him
>>an enema and buried him in a hat box.
>>
>>
>>Obscenity is anything that gives the judge a hard-on
>>
>>
>>The university has stopped using rats for experiments. They've decided
>>to use lawyers for 3 reasons.
>>1. lawyers are more plentiful than rats.
>>2. Some rats are nice and you can get attracted to them.
>>3. There are some things that rats just wont do.
>>But they had to stop using lawyers and they're back to using rats,
>>because they found that lawyers aren't that close to human beings.
>>
>>
>>The young lawyer had just opened for business. He had been sitting
>>behing his desk for a week when at last he saw a man coming into his
>>outer office.
>>Quickly he picked up the phone and pretended to be negotiating a big
>>deal.
>>He spoke loudly about large sums of money and possible court
>>proceedings. When he hung up, he looked at the visitor and asked, "Can
>>I help you?" "Yes" said the man, "I've come to connect your phone".
>>
>>
>>Why don't you ever see lawyers on the beach?
>>Because the cats keep covering them up with sand.
>>
>>
>>When Pope John died, he arrived at the Pearly Gates at the same time
>>as a lawyer.
>>Both were ushered in to see St. Peter. He gave the lawyer a mansion
>>with a swimming pool, and the Pope had to share a double room and an
>>old TV set.
>>The Pope was disapointed and queried the decision.
>>St. Peter explained "We've got a hundred Popes up here, but that's the
>>first lawyer."
>>
>>
>>What do you call a bigot with a wig.
>>Your honour.
>>
> For a moment there....I thought you were going to say something about
> parliament. LOL
>
>
>
>
>>
>>It was a sexual harrassment case, and it had been a long day. The
>>young lady accusing her boss said that she was too embarrassed to
>>repeat the words that he said to her.
>>The judge suggested she write them down and that the words be shown to
>>himself and the jury.
>>She passed the not, which read "Get your pants off and have a drink
>>with me tonight", to the judge, who then passed it on to Fred, the
>>foreperson of the jury.
>>Fred passed it on to the next juror, a middle-aged spinster who had
>>nodded off in the stuffy courtroom. He had to nudge her. She woke up,
>>read the note, winked at Fred and put the note in her handbag.
>>
> An open and shut case
>
>
>
>
>>
>>Mercury.
>
You cant use nice words like bigot for MPs LOL
Mecury.
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