| Re: More lawyers |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/06/23 12:35 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: More lawyers
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Date: Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:35:29 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:6837
On Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:21:32 GMT, WingedMessenger <Boy@FlyingHigh.com>
wrote:
>Did you hear about the lawyer who was so big that when he died they
>couldn't find a coffin big enough to hold the body, so they gave him an
>enema and buried him in a hat box.
>
>
>Obscenity is anything that gives the judge a hard-on
>
>
>The university has stopped using rats for experiments. They've decided to
>use lawyers for 3 reasons.
>1. lawyers are more plentiful than rats.
>2. Some rats are nice and you can get attracted to them.
>3. There are some things that rats just wont do.
>But they had to stop using lawyers and they're back to using rats,
>because they found that lawyers aren't that close to human beings.
>
>
>The young lawyer had just opened for business. He had been sitting behing
>his desk for a week when at last he saw a man coming into his outer
>office.
>Quickly he picked up the phone and pretended to be negotiating a big
>deal.
>He spoke loudly about large sums of money and possible court proceedings.
>When he hung up, he looked at the visitor and asked, "Can I help you?"
>"Yes" said the man, "I've come to connect your phone".
>
>
>Why don't you ever see lawyers on the beach?
>Because the cats keep covering them up with sand.
>
>
>When Pope John died, he arrived at the Pearly Gates at the same time as a
>lawyer.
>Both were ushered in to see St. Peter. He gave the lawyer a mansion with
>a swimming pool, and the Pope had to share a double room and an old TV
>set.
>The Pope was disapointed and queried the decision.
>St. Peter explained "We've got a hundred Popes up here, but that's the
>first lawyer."
>
>
>What do you call a bigot with a wig.
>Your honour.
>
For a moment there....I thought you were going to say something about
parliament. LOL
>
>It was a sexual harrassment case, and it had been a long day. The young
>lady accusing her boss said that she was too embarrassed to repeat the
>words that he said to her.
>The judge suggested she write them down and that the words be shown to
>himself and the jury.
>She passed the not, which read "Get your pants off and have a drink with
>me tonight", to the judge, who then passed it on to Fred, the foreperson
>of the jury.
>Fred passed it on to the next juror, a middle-aged spinster who had
>nodded off in the stuffy courtroom. He had to nudge her. She woke up,
>read the note, winked at Fred and put the note in her handbag.
>
An open and shut case
>
>Mercury.
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