| Stories 19 |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/06/19 14:28 |
Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Stories 19
Message-ID: <3lfl54914udrpko8rmml075kgs23c898ct@4ax.com>
X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 4.2/32.1118
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Antivirus: avast! (VPS 080619-0, 06/19/2008), Outbound message
X-Antivirus-Status: Clean
Lines: 91
X-Complaints-To: abuse@easynews.com
Organization: EasyNews, UseNet made Easy!
X-Complaints-Info: Please be sure to forward a copy of ALL headers otherwise we will be unable to process your complaint properly.
Date: Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:28:15 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:6798
This is supposedly a true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures
Series, as related by the head of the Australian DSTO's Land
Operations / Simulation division. They've been working on some really
nifty virtual reality simulators, the case in point being to
incorporate Armed Reconnaissance Helicopters into exercises (from the
data fusion point of view).
Most of the people they employ on this sort of thing are ex- (or
future) computer game programmers. Anyway, as part of the reality
parameters, they include things like trees and animals. For the
Australian simulation they included kangaroos. In particular,
they had to model kangaroo movements and reactions to helicopters
(since hordes of disturbed kangaroos might well give away a
helicopter's position).
Being good programmers, they just stole some code (which was
originally used to model infantry detachments reactions under the same
stimuli), and changed the mapped icon, the speed parameters, etc.
The first time they went to demonstrate this to some visiting
Americans, the hotshot pilots have decided to get "down and dirty"
with the virtualkangaroos. So, they buzz them, and watch them
scatter. The visiting Americans nod appreciatively...then gape as the
kangaroos duck around a hill, and launch about two dozen Stinger
missiles at the hapless helicopter.
Programmers look rather embarrassed at forgetting to remove that part
of the infantry coding...and Americans leave muttering comments about
not wanting to mess with the Aussie wildlife! As an addendum,
simulator pilots from that point onwards avoided kangaroos like the
plague, just like they were meant to do in the first place.
=====
My father is an ex-Marine who served in the Vietnam War. He tells me
many stories about pranks and stuff he pulled, and here is one that
stood out. He was on patrol, in the pitch black night, with orders NOT
TO FIRE unless an enemy was spotted. In the pitch black night. Well he
wasn't about to wait until the VK was in his face with a combat knife
before he started shooting, so he looked around for a reason to open
fire. And they found one.
In the distance, they heard a Vietnamise bird, nicknamed the 'fuck
you' bird because of its 'unique cry.'
They got on the radio.
"This is 'Bubbles' (his nickname, another story), we have spotted a
gook, sir, request permission to open fire."
"Roger, open fire."
They then began shooting wherever the bird was heard. Of course, they
couldn't just stop there...
"This is bubbles, Requesting airstrike..."
Yup. He called in Willie Peter, Napalm, Airstrikes, 'Puff the Magic
Dragon' (a large plane with a lot of machine guns that could level an
area the size of a football field in a matter of seconds.) as well as
laying thier own steel.
In the morning, the bird was still there. But 30 VK's were confirmed
dead. Needless to say, my father was put in for a commendation. But
because he wasn't a brownnoser, he didnt get it.
=====
Lieutenant Colonel Rick Francona served as lead military translator
during America's negotiations with the Iraqis at the end of the Gulf
War:
"Good morning, sir," Francona told an arriving Iraqi general one day.
"I am Major Francona from General Norman Schwarzkopf's staff. If you
will step out of the car, I will take you to meet the general, and we
can begin."
When the general remained motionless, recalcitrantly glowering,
Francona leaned in closer and rephrased his request in Arabic slang:
"Get out of the car, f---face."
The negotiations began shortly thereafter.
=====
A sign seen over the toilet paper dispenser in a military "latrine"
(bathroom): "Another quality product of the 3M company, sandpaper
division."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
|
|