| Jokes 19 |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/06/19 14:16 |
Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Jokes 19
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Date: Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:16:38 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:6797
A man was being interviewed for a job.
"Were you in the service?" ask the interviewer.
"Yes, I was a marine," responded the applicant.
"Did you see any active duty?"
"I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability."
"May I ask what happened?"
"Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both
testicles."
"You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am."
"When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential
treatment because of my disability."
"Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with
you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit
around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first."
=====
There was a young man in the Air Force who was so well-
endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three Air Force
doctors and one Air Force nurse were in the operating room to
remedy the situation. The first doctor said, "We'll just take a
big hunk off the end." They discussed it and decided that
would affect his sensitivity.
The second doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk out of the
middle of it." They discussed this, and decided it would change
the texture and feel of it.
The third doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk off the base of
it." They discussed this, too, and agreed that it might give him
erection problems.
The doctors heard a sniffling, and looked over at the nurse who
had tears running down her cheeks. The nurse cried, "Can't we
just make his legs longer?"
=====
During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he
was falling back during a really fierce battle. "Didn't you hear
me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?"
The Marine replied, "I got my four Sir."
=====
There's a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a
guy from the NAVY was
driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who's
driving from McGwire in
South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets.
In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit
each other and all cars go
flying off in different directions. The squid manages to climb out of
his car and survey the
damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky
to be alive!" Likewise
the ARMY guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. The
Air Force guy just shakes
his head and says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!"
The NAVY guy walks over to the ARMY and Air Force guys and says, "Hey
guys, I think this is a
sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live
as friends instead of
arch rivals." The ARMY guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know,
you're absolutely right!
We should be friends."
The Air Force guy says "Let me see what else survived this wreck." So
he pops open his trunk
and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.
He says to the NAVY and Army guys, "I think this is another sign from
God that we should toast
to our new found understanding and friendship." The Swabbie says,
"You're right!" and he grabs
the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away
nearly a third of the
bottle the Squid hands it to the ARMY guy and says, "Your turn! The
ARMY guy sucks down a third
and hands the bottle back to the Air Force guy.
The Air Force guy puts the cap back on the bottle and says, "I think
I'll wait for the cops to
show up."
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