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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: Today's Jokes
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Date: Wed, 04 Jun 2008 06:23:34 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:6696
On Wed, 04 Jun 2008 05:37:32 GMT, WingedMessenger <Boy@FlyingHigh.com>
wrote:
>"::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net> wrote in
>news:23ab445r6ekbk88rkdisnec08qffv67bk5@4ax.com:
>
>>
>> Today's Jokes
>> ===========
>>
>>
>> How do you get 20 vice presidents in a mini-van?
>>
>> Promote one and watch the other 19 crawl up his ass.
>>
>>
>> ----------
>>
>> What's brown and sticky?
>>
>> A stick.
>>
>> ----------
>>
>> For more ahem...adventerous types....
>>
>> What is "71"?
>>
>> "69" with two fingers up your ass.
>>
>> ----------
>>
>> What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
>>
>> Outlaws are wanted.
>>
>> ----------
>>
>> When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts", and you put your
>> two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
>>
>> ----------
>>
>> At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking
>> at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No."
>>
>> A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?"
>>
>> "I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I
>> laughed at your dick' cards?"
>>
>> ----------
>>
>> Billy-Joe and Betty-Sue get married, and Billy-Joe whisks her away
>> to
>> his daddy's hunting cabin in the woods, for a romantic 'nature
>> honeymoon'...
>>
>> He carries her across the threshold, and they get into bed, when
>> Betty-Sue whispers in his ear "Billy-Joe, be gentle, I ain never
>> been
>> with a man b'fore."
>>
>> "WHAT???" shouts Billy-Joe, and his little bride softly shakes her
>> head...
>>
>> Billy-Joe jumps out of bed, grabs his clothes, and races out the
>> door,
>> into his truck.... down the mountain.... straight to his parents
>> house... rushes inside screaming "Hey Daddy!, Paw! Git'up!" .....
>>
>> His father rushes downstairs and gasps... "Billy-Joe, what'r you
>> doin
>> here?"
>>
>> Billy-Joe, still breathing hard from his mad flight, gasps "Well,
>> Betty-Sue an I was in the' cabin, and she toll' me she ain't never
>> been with a man' afore.... so's I rushed outta there, an' lit back
>> here... quick as I could!"
>>
>> His father grasps Billy-Joe's shoulder in reassurance, and says
>> "SON,
>> Ya done the right thing.... Iffin she ain't good'nuff fer her
>> family,
>> she shure as shit ain't good'nuff fer ours!!"
>>
>> ----------
>>
>> A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one
>> day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a
>> change.
>>
>> "I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,"
>> he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up."
>>
>> Nine hands went up.
>>
>> "Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man.
>>
>> "Too much trouble," came the reply
>>
>> ----------
>>
>> An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made a
>> living. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000.
>> The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back
>> home. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed
>> the older man a $50 bill.
>> The father looked at the money for a moment and then said, "Son, you
>> know I've always been careful with what little money we had. I didn't
>> spend it on whiskey or women. In fact, I couldn't even afford the
>> license to legally marry your Ma."
>> "Pa!" the young man stammered, "do you know what that makes me?"
>> "Yep," said the old man fingering the $50, "... and a cheap one, too.
>>
>> =====================================================
>>
>>
>
>Back to bed LOL.
>
>Mercury.
heh-heh-heeeeeee
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