Things You Do not Want To Hear from Tech Support
1. "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
2. "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
3. "So -- what are you wearing?"
4. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
5. "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n."
6. "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with '60 Minutes'. Press 3
if you're with the FTC."
7. "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of
duct tape, and a car battery."
8. "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
9. "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
10. "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
11. "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of 'Dianetics'."
12. "Please hold for Mr. Gates's attorney."
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