"::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net> wrote in
news:riem3450gqcu7fddnqea6c2ti4o9k21i7v@4ax.com:
>
>
> What do you call a dog with no legs?
>
> Hehe...it doen't matter, it's not going to come anyway!
>
> -----------------
>
> Don't you just hate it when you go to the doctor, and you're sitting
> on the examination table telling him about your symptoms, and with
> each new one you describe, he backs a little further away?
>
> ----------------
>
> Q: How did Captain Hook die?
> A: Jock itch.
>
> ----------------
>
> They now have an Italian airline that flies out of Genoa.
>
> It's called Genitalia.
>
> -----------------
>
> What do you call a guy who knows how to play the bagpipes, but
> doesn't?
>
> A gentleman.
>
> -----------------
>
> A wild rabbit got caught and was taken to a laboratory. While he
> was in there he befriended a rabbit who had been in the lab since
> the day he was born.
>
> Anyway, one evening the wild rabbit noticed that his cage hadn't
> been properly closed, and decided to make a break for freedom. He
> asked the lab rabbit if he would like to join him. The lab rabbit
> was unsure, as he had never been outside the lab. However, the wild
> rabbit finally convinced him to give it a try.
>
> Once they were free, the wild rabbit said, "I'll show you the
> number three best field." and took the lab rabbit to a field full
> of lettuce.
>
> After they had eaten their fill, the wild rabbit said, "Now I'll
> show you the number two best field." and took the lab rabbit to a
> field full of carrots.
>
> After they had eaten their fill, the wild rabbit said, "Now I'll
> show you the number one best field." and took the lab rabbit to a
> warren full of female bunnies. It was heaven, non-stop bonking most
> of the evening.
>
> As dawn was beginning to break, the lab rabbit announced that he
> would have to be getting back to the lab.
>
> "Why?" said the wild rabbit. "I've shown you the number three best
> field with the lettuce, the number two best field with the carrots,
> and the number one best field with the bonking. Why do you want to
> go back to the lab?"
>
> The lab rabbit replied "I can't help it - I'm dying for a
> cigarette!"
>
> ----------------
>
> A woman got a problem with her closet door - it was felling every time
> a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes
> and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes
> by. "OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close the door behind
> me" and he stepps into the closet. At that time the husband comes
> from work, opens the closet and finds the repairman.
> Husband: "What the hell are you doing here!"
> Repairman:"Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for
> a bus!"
>
> ----------------
>
> Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf
> of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket.
>
> Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, "This is a good
> opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny."
>
> He walks up to Little Johnny and says, "I see Little Johnny that
> you have the Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the
> other?"
>
> Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread Father."
>
> ----------------
>
> Stress-Relieving Prayer
>
>
>
> Lord,
>
> Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
> The courage to change the things I cannot accept,
> And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people
> I had to kill today because they pissed me off.
>
> And, help me to be careful
> Of the toes I step on today as they
> May be connected to the ass
> That I might have to kiss tomorrow.
>
> Amen.
>
> -----------------
>
>
Dont give up, you will find a joke in the near future LOL.
Mercury.
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