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From: "::Donut::" <Chocolate@Sugar.Glazed>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: Are You a Problem Thinker?
Date: 24 May 2008 03:01:04 -0500
Organization: Chocolate Lovers Of the Universe!
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In article <4l3f345ii1k8645r38cgpp8rk0ssaq7emf@4ax.com>,
::darkshadows:: <blood@thirsty.net> wrote:
> Are You a Problem Thinker?
>
Yes! Yes I admit it!
Ask anybody. They all told me again and again that my constant thinking
was a problem for them. They wanted to be right once in a while too,
and I wouldn't let them. They complained but still took advantage of
me, the enablers. All they had to do was give me a problem to think
about and I was theirs to do their bidding, which, coincidently, was
solve their problems for them.
Yes I'm a Problem Thinker and I don't care! I'm never going to give it
up. It's who I am and I'm happy with that even if other people aren't.
Ah, got any interesting bits of illicit logic to share, or strange
problems that need solving? Please, I'm desperate. It's late and the
library isn't open...
Donut ;-)
PS.
Odd how a parody of a part of real life can inadvertently be an
accurate way to describe something else? Well, with a little tweaking.
>
> It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
> then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and
> soon I was more than just a social thinker.
>
> I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it
> wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and
> finally I was thinking all the time.
>
> I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
> mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
>
> I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and
> Kafka.
>
> I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it
> exactly we are doing here?"
>
> Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned
> off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that
> night at her mother's.
>
> I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me
> in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but
> your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on
> the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think
> about.
>
> I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I
> confessed, "I've been thinking..."
>
> "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
>
> "But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
>
> "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as
> college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if
> you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"
>
> "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.
> I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out
> the door.
>
> I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on
> the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass
> doors... they didn't open. The library was closed.
>
> To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
> night.
>
> As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
> Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking
> ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It
> comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
>
> Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss
> a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last
> week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided
> thinking since the last meeting.
>
> I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
> seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
>
--
"Donut make your brown eyes blue..."
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