| Ways to Confuse, Worry, or Just Scare the Bejeezus Out of People in the Computer Lab |
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| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/05/23 22:01 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Ways to Confuse, Worry, or Just Scare the Bejeezus Out of People in the Computer Lab
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Date: Sat, 24 May 2008 04:01:40 GMT
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Ways to Confuse, Worry, or Just Scare the Bejeezus Out of People in
the Computer Lab
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and
scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and
look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty
that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it
on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good
half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you
evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to
different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at
the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by
something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret
Pentagon files.
9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it
on.
11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have
it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at
everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if
they're crazy while typing.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone
agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."
16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required,
pray "O pleaseo pleaseo pleaseo please," and scream "YES!" when
it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It
helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new
friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type
by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion
Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
21. Draw a pictue of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to
your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then
complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
22. Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when
it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where
the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all
done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisely. After
doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next
to you.
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