"::darkshadows::" <blood@thirsty.net> wrote in
news:isk13490vb7dfo4r2rlb5nt6dsi9iv5k1j@4ax.com:
>
>
>
> What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
> calling your name?
>
> You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
>
>
> ================================
>
>
> The young lady entered the doctor's office carrying an infant.
> "Doctor," she explained, "the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of
> gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week." The medic examined
> the child and then started to squeeze the girl's breasts. He then
> unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on
> one nipple. "Young lady," he finally announced, "no wonder the baby
> is losing weight, you haven't any milk!" "Of course not!" she
> shrieked. "It's not my child, it's my sister's!"
>
>
> ==================================
>
>
> Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome
> prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night
> of tall tales begins.
>
> The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why,
> just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men
> before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."
>
> The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was
> walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out
> from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my
> bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the venom down in one gulp.
> And I'm still her today."
>
> The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his
> penis.
>
>
> ===================================
>
>
> What is It?
>
>
>
>
> Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one.
> Maddona does not have one. And a priest does not
> use his. What is it?
>
> A Last name
>
>
> ======================================
>
>
>
> What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
>
> One less drunk.
>
>
> ======================================
>
>
> The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade dress,
> proudly ready for inspection by the general. That worthy warrior
> strolled back and forth before the troops, and sniffed and stopped
> abruptly. "Colonel!" he spat out. "Yes, general!" the colonel
> quavered. "Your troops, your troops," stormed the general. "They look
> very nice, they stand very nice, but they stink, man, they stink!
> Can't you get them to change their underwear?"
> He strode away furiously. The colonel sniffed for himself. "The
> general, yes, he's right. Now, Luigi change with Guiseppi, Carlo
> change with Giovanni..."
>
>
> =======================================
>
>
> Karen was telling me that her to-be-ex, a police officer, asked
> the judge to please remind her to re-register a gun he'd given
> her in her name. "You see, your honor, to buy it, I had to
> register it in my name." The judge said, "Why's this so impor-
> tant?" "Because, Your Honor, I don't want to be shot with 'my
> own gun'." The judge had to hold a piece of paper in front of his
> face to hide his laughter.
>
>
> =======================================
>
>
>
>
>
Please let me know when it starts LOL
Mercury.
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