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Subject: Re: Similes Smiles
From: WingedMessenger <Boy@FlyingHigh.com>
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Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2008 06:37:37 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:6024
no1whomatters <no1whomatters@lost.com> wrote in
news:hse8045qufmd8ba8fi58eqt5je715vb3fb@4ax.com:
> On Mon, 14 Apr 2008 01:44:49 GMT, "::darkshadows::"
> <blood@thirsty.net> wrote:
>
>>
>>Similes Smiles
>>
>>Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their
>>collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school
>>essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of
>>teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners:
>>
>>1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
>>gently compressed by a thigh Master.
>>
>>2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
>>like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
>>
>>3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
>>guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
>>those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
>>speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar
>>eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
>>
>>4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was
>>room-temperature Canadian beef.
>>
>>5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
>>just before it throws up.
>>
>>6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
>>
>>7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
>>
>>8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
>>because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a
>>surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
>>
>>9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
>>bowling ball wouldn't.
>>
>>10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
>>filled with vegetable soup.
>>
>>11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
>>eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city
>>and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
>>
>>12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
>>
>>13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when
>>you fry them in hot grease.
>>
>>14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
>>the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
>>left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
>>at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
>>
>>15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
>>that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
>>
>>16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
>>had also never met.
>>
>>17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was
>>the East River.
>>
>>18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap,
>>only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
>>
>>19. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.
>>
>>20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
>>this plan just might work.
>>
>>21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
>>eating for a while.
>>
>>22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
>>but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land
>>mine or something.
>>
>>23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender
>>leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
>>
>>24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
>>with power tools.
>>
>>25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells,
>>as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
>>
> bless u 4 the grins, giggles & guffaws -- like the man @ a funeral
> who's trying not 2 break out laughing bc he's realized that, thanks to
> his deceased friend's name, he truly is a Paul-bearer!
>
> no1
>
>
Ref 23 Shame on you LOL
Mercury.
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