GRUMPY REALITY
1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner
sociopath.
2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels
of suspicion and paranoia.
3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that
are someone else's fault.
4. In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal.
5. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.
6. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and
complain.
******Particularly when it comes to Donut's jokes!!!******
7. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a
lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.
8. I am at one with my duality.
9. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves in knots.
10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.
11. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state
and local laws.
12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are
no sweeter words than "I told you so!"
13. A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.
14. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my
underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
15. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it
worrying about the future?
16. The complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the
conspiracy is working.
17. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way,
if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.
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