The Military Retirement Bonus
The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered
an early retirement bonus.
They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual
benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line along
the retiring general's body between any two points he chose.
The first general accepted. He asked the pension man to measure
from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. 6 feet. He walked
out with a check for $720,000.
The second general asked them to measure from the tip of his
outstretched hands to his toes. 8 feet. He walked away with a check
$960,000.
Meantime, the first general had tipped off the third as to the
additional bonus check.
When the third general was asked where to measure, he told the
pension man, "from the tip of my penis, to the bottom of my
testicles."
The pension man said that would be fine, but he'd better get the
Medical Officer to do the measuring.
The Medical Officer attended and asked the general to drop his
pants. He did... The Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of the
general's penis and began to work back.
"My God!" he said, "where are your testicles?!"
The general replied, "Back in Nam!"
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