| Windows Redneck Edition |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (blood@thirsty.net) |
2008/03/27 10:45 |
Windows Redneck Edition
Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN
EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you
have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.
The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
It reads: WINDERS 98 Southern Edition, with a background picture of
General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is
shipped with a Dukes of Hazard screen saver.
Please also note:
* The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
* My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
* Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
* Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
* Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
* Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
* Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct
tape" pops up.
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:
* OK - ats aw-right
* Cancel - stopdat
* Reset - try er agin
* Yes - yep
* No - noop
* Find - hunt fer it
* Go to - over yonder
* Back - back yonder
* elp - hep me out here
* Stop - kwitit
* Start - crank er up
* ettings - settins
* Programs - stuff at duz stuff
* Documents - stuff ah done did
Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or
punctuation marks.Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:
* Tiperiter - A word processing program
* Colerin book - a graphics program
* cyferin mersheen - Calculator
* outhouse paper - notepad
* iner-net - Microsoft Explorer
* pichers - A graphics viewer
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy
of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a
replacement version. I hope this helps all y'all!
Billy Bob Gates
Head Honcho
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