Some Things Rednecks Will Never Say
* I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
* Duct tape won't fix that.
* Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
* We don't keep firearms in this house.
* Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
* You can't feed that to the dog.
* I thought Graceland was tacky.
* No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
* Wrestling's fake.
* Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
* We're vegetarians.
* Do you think my gut is too big?
* I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
* Honey, we don't need another dog.
* Who cares who won the Civil War?
* Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
* Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
* Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
* I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
* Checkmate.
* Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
* Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
* I don't have a favorite college team.
* Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
* Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.
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