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From: "::Donut::" <Chocolate@Sugar.Glazed>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: The History of Doughnuts
Date: 5 Feb 2008 19:39:02 -0600
Organization: Chocolate Lovers Of the Universe!
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In article <mg7gq3hpbqpmbjs94093hvrajmc9bv51hv@4ax.com>,
::darkshadows:: <blood@thirsty.net> wrote:
> The History of Doughnuts
>
>
> Four score seven years ago...Wait, doughnuts have been around
> longer than eighty-seven years ago. In fact they all started in
> colonial America. Why don't we ask the doughnut man!!!
>
>
>
> Q: Doughnut Man, were you around when doughnuts were around?
>
> A: The first doughnuts were made in 1847 by Hanson Gregory at the age
> of 15. It was seventy years after the American Revolution, not that
> I'm that old. The American Civil War was still coming. There was more
> time on people's hands, because there were no wars. A lot of city
> people just sat around and twiddled their thumbs except for Hanson's
> mom. Day in and day out she baked cakes.
>
> Q: How did Hason think of the doughnuts?
> A: Hanson ate these little cakes many a day; they were always soggy in
> the middle. He asked his mom to cut the center of the the fried cake.
> She decided to do that to all of the fried cakes and people actually
> liked them. That's how doughnuts were invented. I guess you could say
> they were made accidently.
>
> =========================================
>
> Why Doughnuts are popular
>
> Everyone loves doughnuts, but why? I have sent out surveys to two
> major businesses in our area, our city hall, four local churches, our
> school, and the school district to find out why they serve doughnuts
> at meetings.
>
>
>
> From the surveys I have collected, I concluded that doughnuts are
> popular because, they are easy to eat, and a convenient breakfast.
> They are a good breakfast on the go. Doughnuts are mostly liked by
> everyone, and get meetings off to a good start!
>
> =======================================
>
> Philosophy
>
> Doughnuts will get you through times with no money better than
> money will get you through times with no doughnuts.
>
> Dawn of the Doughnut
>
> Life is like a box of doughnuts....... mmMMMmmmm....doughnuts.
>
> Doughnut on a Stick
>
> Assuming the word doughnut means a nut made from dough, should
> there not also be doughbolts? doughscrews?
>
> Doughnuts on the Move
>
> Doughnut or donut? That is the question!
>
> =======================================
>
> The Partially True History of the Doughnut
>
> Many historians died to get this information on the web. Use this
> knowledge with great care.
>
> In early colonial times, Dutch settlers arrived on US soil seeking
> freedom from the strictly enforced Writs of Pastry. These laws were
> created after a freak accident in which a cow kicked over a giant
> fryer causing much of Strudeldorf to be drenched in hot oil and fried
> to a golden brown. The new arrivals, careful not to mention the
> Strudeldorf incident back in Holland, were allowed to resume the
> making of their one true passion: fried cakes.
>
> In the days when fried cakes ruled the earth, life was harsh. The
> cakes were difficult to fry all the way through which often left a
> gooey doughy center. The doughy unfried cake center often carried
> deadly diseases such as the bubonic plague and anthrax. Thousands of
> people and twelve bakers (the baker's dozen) died from eating unfried
> cakes. Still, people ate and ate not knowing if their next fried cake
> would be the last.
>
> It was then a young lad by the name of Hanson Gregory stepped onto the
> scene. The year was 1847. Seventy years had passed since the United
> Stated fought Britain for independence.
> The American Civil War was still several years away. Without any local
> wars to fight, Americans had little to do. Hanson's mother was a
> dedicated cake maker living on the cutting edge of pastry technology.
> Day in and day out she fried cakes with relentless passion. Sometimes
> though, even her fried cakes were doughy in the center. To conceal
> this, she began placing walnuts and hazelnuts in the center of the
> fried cakes, but this left little Hanson feeling very sad because the
> only thing he hated more than a doughy center were walnuts and
> hazelnuts on doughy centers.
>
> One night while Hanson was sleeping, an angel appeared to him. The
> angel was holding a giant plate of fried cakes still dripping with hot
> oil. "Hanson," said the angel, "You must end the suffering of your
> people. Reveal the true nature of these fried cakes. Also, try one of
> the glazed.. they're quite tasty." The angel left, but the plate of
> fried cakes remained. Upon closer inspection, Hanson was shocked to
> discover that the fried cakes were hole-y. He ran into the streets
> shouting about his experience with the angel and giving these glorious
> pastries to the townspeople. Everyone agreed they were the best fried
> cakes ever. The people sang and danced for many days then had Hanson
> burned at the stake for being a witch.
>
> ============================================
>
> Dunkin' Donuts Joke:
>
>
> A guy called Charlie gets kicked out of home and decides he needs to
> get a job to get by in the world. He didn't have a lot of experience,
> so he thought it would be a good idea to try and get a job at Dunkin'
> Donuts. He visits the store and talks to the manager.
>
> The manager decides to test Charlie and see how good he is, and so
> does a role play acting like a customer.
>
> Manager: How much are your donuts?
> Charlie: Uhm... I don't know.
> Manager: No.. say 10 cents
>
> So they have another go:
>
> Manager: How much are your donuts?
> Charlie: 10 cents!!
> Manager: Are they fresh??
> Charlie: umm.. 10 cents?
> Manager: Well. not exactly... You should say "Yes, yes, very fresh".
>
> So they try again for a third time:
>
> Manager: How much are your donuts?
> Charlie: 10 cents!!
> Manager: Are they fresh??
> Charlie: Yes, yes, very fresh.
> Manager: Should I buy one?
> Charlie: umm.. 10 cents!!
> Manager: Well, that's pretty close! Say "You better hurry before
> somebody else does!!"
>
> So the manager decides to give Charlie a go, and after a few days, the
> business is going very well, until one day, a robber breaks in to the
> store:
>
> Robber: How much you got in that cash register!?!
> Charlie: 10 Cents!!
> Robber: Are you trying to be fresh with me punk?
> Charlie: Yes, yes, very fresh!!
> Robber: Alright that's it! Do you want me to shoot you?
> Charlie: You better hurry before somebody else does!!
>
> =========================================
I better hurry and tell you this before somebody else does:
A "bakers" dozen is 13, not 12.
Thank you for posting about me. ;-)
Donut :-)
--
"Donut make your brown eyes blue..."
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