| Valentine's Day Facts |
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| Rolex (rolex@astraweb.com) |
2008/01/18 09:32 |
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Amazing-but-True Valentine's Day Facts!
In the Tahitian language, "valen tine" is an extremely vulgar expression.
Although a common practice now, John Wilkes Booth's brother,
Edwin, was the first known actor to send a Valentine card to himself.
To celebrate being the most romantic city on Valentine's Day,
couples in Loveland, Colorado, trade Broncos jerseys for the day.
Franklin D. Roosevelt spent every one of his 13 Valentine's Days
as president of the United States tooling around the
White House in his wheelchair completely naked.
When broken down into its basic elemental components,
love, in fact, actually does stink.
In some remote mountain villages in the Romagna-Campanile
region of Italy, Valentine's Day is still celebrated by the ancient
Roman lottery in which each teenage boy draws the name of a
teenage girl who will be his sex partner for the rest of the year.
In Rome around the time of Tiberius, children were taught archery
from a young age, and for sport, some would sneak naked into bath
houses and shoot people with their toy arrows.
This was the origin of "Cupid" -- Latin for "accursed child."
On February 14, 1933, Al Capone's widow started an ultimately
unsuccessful petition to have the St. Valentine's Day Massacre
downgraded to a "public disturbance."
Infamous cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer superstitiously
avoiding eating heart on Valentine's Day.
The phrase "Friends, Romans, countrymen" is an example of
"copulative asyndenton" (coincidentally an anagram of
"Valentine's Day Cop-out"), which is how Mark Antony's
February 14th speech was characterized by those still loyal to Julius
Caesar.
An old Ukrainian custom dictates that women make sachets
out of lovers' flowers after Valentine's Day. So the women
who leave their men after Valentine's Day even after receiving
such gifts are said to "come out smelling like a rose."
Hallmark this year launched a new line called
"the Brokeback Collection" for gay lovers.
Satanists traditionally celebrate St. Valentine's Day by sacrificing
one live kitten for each date who turned them down during that year.
The St. Valentine's Day Massacre originally was scheduled for January 5,
but nobody could spell St. Telesphorus, so they rescheduled it.
The caloric intake from 50 cinnamon candy hearts provides precisely
the calories needed to sign and seal one valentine card.
"Simpsons" creator Matt Groening got his start drawing loveable
animals on children's valentine cards.
Ovaltine was originally marketed as Ovalentine, "the elixir of love."
In 1930, when it began sponsoring "Little Orphan Annie,"
the name was slightly altered at the request of church groups anxious
to avoid any nasty sexual connotations.
In 18th-century Italy, it was customary to cut out your lover's heart
upon his or her death and carry it with you one day for every year you were
together.
Unsold Valentine's Day heart candies are sold as chalk to Third-World
schools.
Roses were traditionally brought to duels in the middle ages by
onlookers as a gift to console the widow of the fight's loser.
In colonial America, it was believed that saying "Happy Valentine's Day"
backwards 10 times while copulating would ensure that your next offspring
would be male.
Candy and flowers have dropped to positions #2 and #3 as
favorite Valentine's Day gifts. Position #1 is now occupied by video disks.
Former Major League Baseball manager Bobby Valentine
was born on Valentine's Day.
In 1946, after seeing one of her films, the crown prince of the Congo
once sent actress Shirley Temple a gift of 70 head of cattle.
Despite common lore, Valentine's Day was not named after St. Valentine,
but the great-great-grandfather of Rudolph Valentino, a poet.
On a molecular level, red roses and a pint of type
AB-negative blood are the same exact color.
The practice of giving fresh-cut flowers to one's beloved
is a modern-day replacement for the traditional gift of fresh-killed game
animals.
In early days, locksmiths charged half price on Valentine's Day
for making duplicate keys for chastity belts.
The most popular brand of candy hearts is actually made with a
mixture of 90% sugar, 5% artificial flavoring and 5% gunpowder.
If laid on a flat, hard surface and stomped on, they "explode" just like
cap-gun rounds.
If said in the correct tone and cadence, "Be my Valentine"
played backwards sounds exactly like "Butt-love is in."
Fearing the country was becoming too violent, President Chester Arthur
declared Valentine's Day would replace Knife-Fight Day.
The daisy, not the rose, is the biggest-selling flower on Valentine's Day,
according to the National Flower Association.
The tradition of giving chocolate hearts was started in 1255 by the
Duke of Hershey, who murdered his wife's lover and presented her
with his heart on a platter with an assortment of fine candies.
In Wisconsin, sodomy is legal for the 24 hours of Valentine's Day.
Use of the heart to symbolize affection originated with the ancient
Egyptians.
After removal of all internal organs in preparation for mummification,
pharaohs' hearts were given to their widows as a last expression of earthly
devotion.
Among the findings of the 9/11 Commission was that a young
Osama bin Laden received no valentines as a third-grader in a London prep
school.
Schlitz has been the "Official Beer of Valentine's Day" since 1982.
Windows XP users who create a user name "billg" then play
214 games of FreeCell on February 14 will be treated to a
slide show from Bill and Melinda Gates' wedding.
Actor Vin Diesel has been selected as Mr. Valentine of 2006
by the town of Valentine, Wyoming.
Candy hearts were originally candied hamster hearts
that were dried, cut and stamped.
The average red rose contains 38 calories. White roses have only 26.
"Will you be my Valentine?" has traditionally been at the low end of the
sexual harassment scale, but in recent years has moved up quickly
among easily-offended women.
Valentine's Day cards were invented by an out-of-work
newspaper obituary writer who hung out at the back exit
of a brothel with a camera.
On 2/14/00, 214 people bled to death from injuries attributed to rose
thorns.
There are more fatalities on Valentine's Day from cardiac arrests
-- i.e., broken hearts -- than any other single cause.
Although the human heart is not actually "heart-shaped,"
its valves are, to allow blood to flow in only one direction.
The real-life third-century St. Valentine was notorious for his forays into
bestiality.
A box of holiday chocolates, one of which contained a de-legged,
living roach, was a popular parlor amusement of French aristocrats.
A recent survey showed that marriages in which both partners vote
Democrat tend to last 4.3 years less on average than those
in which at least one partner votes Republican.
During WWII, British spies occasionally used small bags of
candy hearts to pass secure information, using the sayings and color
of the hearts to add layers of encryption.
The poison most likely to have been dispensed to Romeo
by an apothecary of that time was "tincture of wormwood,"
which has the same exact fragrance as a combination of roses and chocolate.
February 14 (2/14) was chosen as the date to celebrate
Valentine's Day because it symbolizes "TWO become ONE FOR-ever."
The symbol of the heart for Valentine's Day and love came from an old
Visigoth ritual of eating the hearts of one's enemies to gain virility.
--
Rolex
"May Dragons Fly Ever in your Dreams"
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