| Top Ten Obscure Sports in the World |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (over@bite.net) |
2007/12/02 18:22 |
Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
From: "::darkshadows::" <over@bite.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Top Ten Obscure Sports in the World
Message-ID: <rgm6l31ssi3b4g4m4s4kat61q7fhod1lk0@4ax.com>
X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 4.2/32.1118
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Antivirus: avast! (VPS 071202-0, 12/02/2007), Outbound message
X-Antivirus-Status: Clean
Lines: 158
X-Complaints-To: abuse@easynews.com
Organization: EasyNews, UseNet made Easy!
X-Complaints-Info: Please be sure to forward a copy of ALL headers otherwise we will be unable to process your complaint properly.
Date: Mon, 03 Dec 2007 01:22:49 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:5235
Top Ten Obscure Sports in the World
Posted on July 18, 2006.
Marbles.jpg
Hey, was there a big soccer game or something, recently?
I don't know. I couldn't get into it...the whole World Cup thing. A
guy totally trashing his career with a headbutt, and having fifty
parody videos on YouTube...that I can get into, but the actual game
puts me to sleep faster than a State of the Union address. And it's
not like I'm not into sports. I watched the Wimbledon final that same
day, watched the Mickelson meltdown at the Open, cheered for the Heat
and yelled "who?" when the Knicks made their first round pick, and I'm
counting the days until NFL pre-season. Still, it only takes ten
minutes of soccer before I'm screaming "somebody fucking score" at the
TV. Then again, about ten bajillion people think otherwise.
So this got me thinking...What other sports are there that thousands
(maybe tens or hundreds of thousands) of people follow, that I'm
basically unaware of? We all know the networks are thinking the same
thing. As more channels pop up, and the target audiences get more
segmented, programmers turn to more obscure events that have built-in
followings. ABC's doing it with the the National Spelling Bee, proving
you're never too young to be exploited. ESPN's bettting on dominoes
for the Latin audience, and was that juggling I caught on ESPN2 last
weekend? (That one actually drove me outdoors) So I wondered, what
other sports are there that I don't know about but could possibly bet
on because I have I have a bit of a problem? Let's take a look...
10) World Highland games
CaberTossing.jpg
These are the festivals held in Scotland that celebrate Celtic
culture. Events like the Sheaf toss where you throw a bundle of straw,
the stone put where you throw a rock, and the caber toss where you
throw a tree. I think landscaping was evented here. Just a guess, but
I think sometime in the 70's human growth hormone was thrown into the
mix, and the World Strongest Man competition was invented. The tree
thing isn't too suggestive, is it? Reminds me of my summers at camp
thumping eagle.(Hi Mr. Oglethorpe)
9) Professional Putt-Putt Tour
PuttPutt.jpg
The players would probably frown on my calling it putt-putt. They call
it the Professional Putter's Association. Kinda like asking a girl if
she wants to go for a ride on your hog, and pointing to a moped. Then
again, the site says they're playing for thousands of dollars, so
maybe I should shut the fuck up and start walking toward the windmill.
You think putters' wives are as hot a golfers' wives?
8) Surf Lifesaving
Surf.jpg
Combining the grace and beauty of watersports with the thrill of
cardiac arrest. Two things I can tell about Surf Lifesaving from the
entire fifteen minutes of research I've dedicated to the subject. It
appears to be big in Australia, and you have to be really good-looking
to participate. But wasn't it a hottie that drove me to walk into the
water in the first place? They say 2007 is the year of the surf
lifesaver. If it gets any hotter Ohio can have it's own team.
7) American Cribbage Congress
Cribbage.jpg
Looks like Congress, don't it?
The American Cribbage Congress takes the meaning of the word athlete,
and stretches it so out of context it's own etymological mother
wouldn't recognize it. Lightning-quick reflexes, Lavish tounament
prizes provided by the fine folks at Hickory Farms, gaming halls thick
with the smell of Vicks vap-o-rub, and still this is ten times as much
action as you'll find in my apartment on any given weekend. The final
person to peg out gets worldwide recognition and a year's supply of
beta blockers to ensure constant blood flow. Good luck players!
6) Dog Sledding, Dog Racing and Dog Tossing
DoggieToss.jpg
So here's how this happened. I found an image of an Antactic cribbage
club (seriously) while doing the cribbage research. That reminded me
of dog sledding. But then I thought, what about dog racing (a sport I
have actually witnessed in person on several occasions...see previous
gambling problem comment). Then just for the fuck of it, I googled
"dog tossing", and found this photo. So basically, #5 is all
dog-related sporting activities. And what did we learn in the
process...the Internet is a wondrous and magical thing.
We interrupt this list to pay tribute to the newest obscure sport on
the scene, combining tense competition, excessive drinking and the
carny's sense of sports ethics...BrewSkee-Ball.
skeeball1.jpgSkeeball2.jpgskeeball3.jpg
5) World Footbag Association
Hackysack.jpg
Man, hackeysack's changed since I played. What's with the net? And
where's the keg? Now it's called the World Footbag Association, and it
doesn't seem to be affiliated with the Grateful Dead or Bob Marley.
According to the site, there are over 80,000 registered players, and
20 - 30 major tournaments around the world. But I'll bet they don't
even have tobacco sponsors. No one's got any sense of tradition
anymore.
4) Rock Paper Scissors League
RockPaper.jpg
This is a sport started on a dare...right? The U. S. Association of
Rock Paper Scissors. That's right, I said U.S. Association...damn
proud. And of course, the lovely girls of the RPS. What do you think?
Which network's gonna snatch this one up? Spike? GSN? Oxygen? You know
if it's big, Oprah's gonna get a taste...stay tuned.
3) World Adult Kickball Association
kickball.jpg
Isaac Newton discovered three laws of motion. 1) For every action
there is an equal and opposite reaction. 2) Objects in motion remain
in motion unless external force is applied. And 3) If the object in
motion is a kickball, and you are the external force kicking it, the
amount of sex enjoyed by the external force will diminish in
proportion to the amount of games played...it's science, look it up.
This is a sport begging for Johnny Walker or Baccardi to take it to
another level, but I definitely don't see the x-games calling. Look at
him ladies...like a gazelle.
2) Unicycle Hockey World Championships
Unicycle.jpg
I think there's also a mime's bowling tour, but I need to do some more
research. I shouldn't judge. What else are you gonna do with your
unicycle that doesn't involve getting beaten up? And they've
definitely got the balance thing down. Good for quick exits when you
tell people you're in a unicycle hockey league and you need to chase
after your self-esteem. This would've been #1 until I found out
about...
1) The Extreme Ironing World Championships
ironing.jpg
For those times when she orders you to get the ironing done, but if
you stay in the house any longer you may take a bath with the
toaster...welcome to Extreme Ironing.
You see what marriage does to perfectly normal guys? There are like,
ALOT of sites dedicated to this, um sport. It's got a wikipedia page.
It's got it's own bureau (to put the ironed shirts in, no doubt)
According to the official website, it's the latest danger sport that
combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the
satisfaction of a well pressed shirt...and the world is officially out
of things to do.
There you have it. Extreme Ironing...the most obscure sport in the
world. And if the extreme home makeover thing doesn't pan out for ABC,
look for it as a lead-in to Desperate Housewives in the fall.
|
|
|