How to retool your ailing lexicon
Where did you go wrong, and how can you retool your ailing lexicon? To
increase your vocabulary with phrases you've heard but aren't quite
sure how to use, read on.
1. "Cold turkey"
Definition: Refers to the physical state addicts are in when
withdrawing from drug addition, especially heroin. Their blood is
directed to the internal organs, leaving their skin white and goose
bumpy like a Thanksgiving bird ready to go in the oven. Mmmmm, junkie
turkey.
Origin: The first usage of this phrase is unknown, but it has as many
applications as there are things to be addicted to.
Use it in a sentence: After coming down with a strange illness that
turned his eye-whites blue, Ozzy had to go cold turkey from biting the
heads off live bats or any other animals.
2. "Going Dutch"
Definition: To evenly split the cost of a group expense, like a meal.
Origin: The origin of the phrase is unknown, but there is one
explanation. In the 17th century, the Dutch were hated commercial
rivals of the British, and have been a verbal target for them since.
Anyone who "went Dutch" may have been considered a tightwad. Not
surprisingly, the Dutch don't seem to love this phrase.
Use it in a sentence: The last girl I went out with called me a
superior patriarchal misogynist who didn't respect her independence
just because I offered to pick up the tab. So last night I decided I'd
play it safe and suggested to my date that we go Dutch. She called me
a cheap bastard!
3. "Sh*t hits the fan"
Definition: Refers to the commotion that can occur when a situation
that was previously secret is publicly revealed. Graphically
illustrates the distinction between fecal matter, which is not in
itself such a problem, and fecal matter piling up to the ceiling fan
and then being sprayed everywhere, which pretty much sucks.
Origin: Depression-era America, when apparently excrement abounded.
Use it in a sentence: "I'm telling you, Bob, if we don't figure out
how to get your dad's pogo stick out of this tree, the sh*t's really
gonna hit the fan. I mean, how's he supposed to get to work?"
4. "Put a sock in it"
Definition: A terse request to be quiet.
Origin: Since early gramophones had no volume control knobs, playing
them at anything less than 11 ("my amp goes up to 11") required
putting a sock in the amplification trumpet.
Use it in a sentence:
Girl: "Why are you hesitating? You don't like it, do you? You think it
makes me look fat, right? Oh, I knew this would happen. I should never
have gotten an orange leather..."
Guy: "Ah, put a sock in it."
5. "Son of a gun"
Definition:
a) As an interjection, it means "gee whiz" or "well I'll be damned."
b) As a name to call someone, it's a euphemism for a phrase that's
already pretty
tame: son of a bitch.
Origin: According to the Phrase Finder (www.phrases.shu.ac.uk), the
expression originated on sailing ships, where some women would have
sex with sailors between the cannons. The male progeny of such a
dangerous liaison would then be called a son of a gun. Nice pedigree.
Use it in a sentence:
a) "Son of a gun, who stole my toupee?"
b) "Bob, you old son of a gun. How's the prostate?"
6. "For all intents and purposes"
Definition: First of all, it ain't "for all intensive purposes." Think
about it for a minute. What the hell could that possibly mean? For all
uses that are short but really demanding? Like, oh, I don't know,
midget arm-wrestling? No, "for all intents and purposes" means
"realistically speaking; practically; in almost every way."
Origin: Although its origin is unknown, the phrase used to be "to all
intents and purposes," which is still sometimes heard.
Use it in a sentence: Bob tried so hard to please Patty that he had
long ago passed the "whipped" phase and was now, for all intents and
purposes, her love slave.
7. "Big cheese"
Definition: The most important person; the boss.
Origin: The Urdu word for thing is chiz. The British likened its sound
to the word "cheese" and, as cheese is so vital to the Brits that
their pound currency was actually pegged to the price of medium
cheddar for almost two centuries, they modified its meaning to "the
main/best thing." The phrase crossed the Atlantic as "the big cheese"
in about 1890.
Use it in a sentence: The way he acted, you could tell Bob thought he
was the big cheese of the joint. But really, with his faux chains,
hedge-like chest hair and shiny zebra-striped shirt, he was just
cheesy.
8. "Peeping Tom"
Definition: A peeping Tom is a voyeur.
Origin: It stems from an 11th century English legend in which Tom the
tailor unlawfully peeps at Lady Godiva as she rides on horseback naked
through Coventry. As a result, he was struck blind. Doh!
Use it in a sentence: To mess with the minds of any would-be peeping
Toms in the high rise across the street, every night Bob undressed in
front of his window with all the lights on, then looked out into the
night and gave a big wave before retiring.
9. "Beat around the bush"
Definition: This old phrase means, well, you know, sort of to, like,
stall and stuff, or lie even, instead of, um -- hey look, that dog has
a poofy tail! Sorry, it means not to get to the point or the truth.
Origin: It comes from hunting, where hunters would carefully beat
around bushes hoping to drive out their prey instead of just going in
after it.
Use it in a sentence:
Man #1: "Stop beating around the bush and ask the question already!"
Man #2: "Okay, fine. Can I borrow your girlfriend for, like, an hour?"
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