JOKES:
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into
a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the
farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm
but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back
to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws
the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car
forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse are playing in the meadow
again and the chicken falls into the mud hole. The chicken yells to
the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse says, "I
think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretches over the width of
the hole and says, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And
the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need
a Mercedes to pick up a chick.
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A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200
acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came
across another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door
neighbor and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said:
I have to warn you though, there will be alot of drinking at this
party. The city slicker said no problem. There will also be sex going
on. No problem he responded. Well, There will probably be some
fighting too. I think I can handle myself, claimed the new neighbor.
As he rode off, he turned and asked the party host. "By the way, what
should I wear at the party" The man, responded "Oh, it don't matter,
It's only going to be me and you!"
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Q. What's an Australian kiss?
A. The same thing as a French kiss, only down under!
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A coupla Aggies, Buck and Thurleen, married after graduating from
Texas A&M, are driving from Dallas down to a motel in Austin for their
honeymoon. Along the way, Buck reaches over and puts his hand on
Thurleen's knee.
Thurleen smiles, blushes and says, "Oh Buck, we're married now, you
can go farther than that!"
So he drove on to Laredo.
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Headlines:
"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"
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STORY:
Jeffrey J. Pyrcoch, 19, and an alleged accomplice were arrested in
West Lafayette, Ind., in May on theft and fraud charges. Pyrcioch
allegedly cashed checks that he had written with disappearing ink,
apparently believing the checks would be blank by the time they were
presented to the bank for collection. However, traces of ink remained,
and police said Pyrcoch would have a better chance of getting away
with it if he had not used checks pre-printed with his name and
account number on them.
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POEM:
Here I sit
What a caper
I have to shit
But I'm out of paper
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QUOTE:
Be careful about reading health books. You might die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
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