| GRAB BAG [6.23.07] |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (bloody@mary.org) |
2007/06/23 21:01 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <bloody@mary.org>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: GRAB BAG [6.23.07]
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Date: Sun, 24 Jun 2007 03:01:44 GMT
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JOKES:
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman
in
it. He turns around to
push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her
breast. He says, "Oh, I'm
so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be
able to forgive me." She
looks at him a few seconds and says, "That's all right. If your
penis
is as hard as your
elbow, I'm in room 204."
===============
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said
"CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
===============
Dear Abby:
My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has
cheated
our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and
supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the
issue.
He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every
time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was
wrong
and begs me to forgive him.
This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a
cheat.
I don't know what to do.
Signed
Frustrated
----------------
Dear Frustrated:
You should dump him. Now that you are finally a New York Senator, you
don't need him anymore.
==============
Q. Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
================
One blonde to another...
Have you ever read Shakespeare?
No. Who wrote it?
==================================
STORIES:
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
5 and 6 year-olds. After explaining the commandment "Honor thy Father
and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
============
English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law.
This is our idea of useless legislation.
================
Andrea told me that while she was playing cards her friend called. Her
friend said, "What are ya playing?" Andrea said, "Solitaire." He
friend (Judi?) said, "Yeah? Who are you playing with?"
=================
QUOTES:
Only a fool is astonished by the foolishness of humankind.
- Edward Abbey
=============
Had every Athenina citizen been a Socrates,
every Athenian assembly would still have been a mob.
==============
Everything that can be counted doesn't necessarily count;
everything that counts can't necessarily be counted.
(Einstein)
=============
"Minds are like parachutes, they only function when they're open."
-- Bumper sticker
=============
I love those slow-talking Southern girls. I was out with a Southern
girl last night, took her so
long to tell me she wasn't that kind of girl, she was.
- Woody Woodbury
==============
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
==============
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