A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss. He comes back
about 10 Minutes later, sits down at the bar, muttering & swearing
very softly.
The barkeep approaches the customer and asks what the problem is.
"Oh some son-uv-a-bitch snuck up behind me while I was at the urinal
and put a gun to my head".
"Jesus Christ! What happened?"
"He told me to give him a blow job or he'd blow my brains out!"
"Yeah, then what?"
"Well you didn't hear a gun shot, did you?"
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A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. He carries his trusty
22-gauge rifle with him. After a while, he spots a very large bear,
takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone.
A moment later the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, "No
one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can
rip your throat out and eat you, or you can drop your trousers, bend
over, and I'll do you in the ass."
The hunter decides that anything is better than death, so he drops his
trousers and bends over, and the bear does what he said he would do.
After the bear has left, the hunter pulls up his trousers again and
staggers back into town. He's pretty mad.
He buys a much larger gun and returns to the forest. He sees the same
bear, aims, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A
moment later the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says,
"You know what to do."
Afterwards, the hunter pulls up his trousers, crawls back into town,
and buys a bazooka. Now he's really mad. He returns to the forest,
sees the bear, aims, and fires. The force of the bazooka blast knocks
him flat on his back. When the smoke clears, the bear is standing
over him and says,
"You're not doing this for the hunting, are you?"
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Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other at the local
bar. One said, "Heard ya went to the big city Jeb." His friend
replied, "Yep. Even tried me out one of those 'loose women' ya always
hear about." "You don't say." said the first man. "Bet that was
costly." "Nope." Jeb smirked. "Kinfolk."at the local bar. One said,
"Heard ya went to the big city Jeb." His friend replied, "Yep. Even
tried me out one of those 'loose women' ya always hear about." "You
don't say." said the first man. "Bet that was costly." "Nope." Jeb
smirked. "Kinfolk."
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