| April Fool's Day Atrocities |
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| ::darkshadows:: (behind@u.org) |
2007/03/31 19:11 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <behind@u.org>
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Subject: April Fool's Day Atrocities
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Date: Sun, 01 Apr 2007 01:11:37 GMT
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April Fool's Day Atrocities
The Top 10 Worst April Fool's Day Hoaxes Ever
#1: Hijinks of Hussein and Son
husseinSaddam Hussein and his sons may have been ruthless,
power-hungry dictators, but that didn't stop them from trying to give
the people of Iraq a good chuckle every April Fool's Day. On April 1,
1998 the Babil newspaper, owned by Hussein's son Uday, informed its
readers that President Clinton had decided to lift sanctions against
Iraq, only to admit later that it was just joking. One can imagine the
knee-slapping guffaws when readers realized how they'd been taken for
a ride. The laughs continued in 1999 when Uday mischeviously announced
that the monthly food rations would be supplemented to include
bananas, Pepsi, and chocolate. Again, just a joke. At this point, the
Husseins appear to have run out of material, because in 2000 they
recycled the sanction-lifting gag, and in 2001 trotted out the
ration-supplement crowd-pleaser one more time. The merciless quality
with which the same joke was repeated year after year had an almost
surreal quality to it. In fact, it almost makes one sympathize with
Saudi Arabia's chief cleric, the Grand Mufti Sheikh Abdul Aziz bin
Abdullah Al al-Sheikh, who in 2001 decreed that the celebration of
April Fool's Day should be banned altogether. It's not known if the
Sheikh had his neighbor's hijinks in mind when he issued the ban.
#2: Releasing The Prisoners
Imagine reading that your husband or brother who has been held in a
squalid Romanian prison for years is finally going to be released. You
make the long journey to the prison and stand outside the prison
gates, waiting desperately for the moment you'll be reunited with your
loved one, only to hear... 'April Fools! No one's being released!'
This experience happened to sixty people in April 2000 who read in the
Opinia newspaper that their loved ones were going to be released from
the Baia Mare prison in Romania. They made the long journey to the
prison, only to learn that the paper had played an April Fool's joke
on them. The Opinia later published an apology.
#3: The Phony Deadline
Glenn Howlett's colleagues at London city hall thought they had
dreamed up a great gag. They sent him a memo informing him that the
really big report he was working on was going to be due early, in just
two weeks. The tip-off was that the memo was dated April 1st. Ha Ha.
Except Howlett didn't realize it was a joke. He received the memo
while on vacation and immediately cut his vacation short and phoned
the office to tell everyone to start getting busy. But as he
contemplated the new deadline he worked himself up into an increasing
state of panic, until soon he began to experience heart palpitations.
Finally he collapsed from the stress and had to take leave from work.
As he was recovering he realized it just wasn't worth risking his
health to finish the report, so he filed for early retirement. At
which point someone told him the early deadline was just a joke. He
responded by suing for damages. As a consequence of his lawsuit, city
hall banned employees from pulling any more pranks.
#4: The Dead Dog
The film National Lampoon's Vacation includes a scene in which Chevy
Chase ties a dog to the bumper of his car, then forgets the dog is
there and drives away. Inspired by this scene, Paul Goobie tied a dead
chihuahua to the bumper of his co-worker's car. His co-worker, Kevin
Meloy, got in the car and drove off, unaware that the chihuahua was
there. Obviously passing motorists were horrified. But what made the
situation even worse was that Meloy was deaf, so he couldn't hear the
other motorists frantically honking at him. Happily he drove on for
miles until finally someone was able to get his attention. Police
charged Goobie with unlawful disposal of a dead animal.
#5: A Fake Hanging
Randy Wood's marriage was over, but apparently he was still a little
bitter about the divorce. So he decided to play a prank on his
ex-wife. He called her up and asked her to come over, telling her that
he had something to show her. Obligingly she drove over, only to find
him hanging by a noose from a tree in his front yard. Terrifed, she
immediately dialed 911. Emergency services, including firefighters,
policemen, and paramedics, soon showed up. But when they went to cut
Wood down they discovered he wasn't dead. He wasn't even hurt. He had
strung himself up as a prank to scare his ex-wife, using a lineman's
harness similar to those used by utility crews. The authorities warned
that he would face a fine of up to $1,000 and a year in jail for his
prank.
#6: A Fake Robbery
Sitra Walker was an employee at a clothing store in Columbus, Ohio.
She had only been working there for two weeks, but already she felt
that she knew the manager well enough to joke around with him. So on
April 1, 2003 she called him up at his home and told him that armed
men were robbing the store. The manager immediately called the police,
who promptly dispatched four cruisers. Minutes later Walker phoned the
manager again and screamed 'April Fools'. Too late. When the police
arrived moments later they weren't amused and charged her with
inducing a panic. Walker's manager fired her.
#7: Revival of the Warsaw Pact
In 1996 the Russian news agency Itar-Tass reported that the Russian
parliament was debating whether to revive the Warsaw Pact. The
startling report was immediately repeated by news agencies in the
Czech Republic and Bulgaria, causing widespread panic. A few hours
later Itar-Tass admitted that it had just been joking, and apologized
for any confusion it might have caused.
#8: Fake Death Report
In 1986 Israel Radio broadcast that Nabih Berri, leader of the Shi'ite
Amal movement, had been assassinated. The news caused an immediate
flare-up of tensions in the region. However, Israeli officials quickly
denounced the report as a hoax. The false report was traced back to an
army intelligence officer who had planted the news item in the
broadcasts of the Israeli Army's intelligence monitoring unit, from
which it had been picked up by Israel Radio. Apparently the officer
had meant it as an April Fool's joke (because hey, nothing says funny
like stirring up tension in the Middle-East). Israel's Defence
Minister, Yitzhak Rabin, announced that the unnamed officer would be
court-martialed. "Berri Berri funny," one foreign correspondent wryly
commented.
In the category of 'really bad fake death reports' one must also note
the time in 1998 when Boston DJ's Opie and Anthony announced that the
mayor of Boston, Tom Menino, had died in a car crash. Because City
Hall couldn't immediately reach the Mayor to confirm that he was
actually alive, many believed the report, including members of the
Mayor's family. The next day Opie and Anthony were suspended without
pay.
#9: Fake Disaster Warnings
In 1999 DJs at Oregon radio station KSJJ announced that the Ochoco dam
had burst, threatening downstream areas with massive flooding. What
made the warning believable was that hundreds of houses in these areas
had been damaged the previous year when the Ochoco Creek had flooded,
so terrified homeowners who heard the news quickly prepared to flee.
Later the DJs informed their listeners that it was all a joke. They
had just been 'having a little fun'. The homeowners were not amused.
In the same genre of non-funny disaster warnings, there's also WNOR's
1992 April 1st report in which it warned that a large build-up of
methane gas was about to cause a fiery explosion at Mount Trashmore, a
landfill near Virginia Beach. Residents were warned to evacuate the
area, causing the local 911 to be flooded with calls. The DJs
responsible for the prank were suspended without pay for two weeks.
#10: The Iraqi Ambassador's Final Joke
On April 1, 2003, as thousands of American-led coalition troops
stormed across Iraq, the Iraqi ambassador to Russia, Abbas Khalaf
Kunfuth, held a press conference in Moscow. Many were expecting him to
announce that Iraq conceded defeat. Instead Kunfuth chose this moment
to hold a gag press conference. Holding up a piece of paper that he
identified as a news flash from Reuters, he read aloud from it: "The
Americans have accidentally fired a nuclear missile into British
forces, killing seven." Immediately the room full of reporters went
silent with shock. Then Kunfuth grinned and shouted 'April Fools!'
Only a few days after this unexpected moment of levity, the Iraqi
government completely collapsed.
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