Chicken Crossing
Ever wonder why the chicken crossed the road?
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
BILL CLINTON: That depends on what your definition of "did" is.
GEORGE BUSH JR: I don't know, but I'll tell you this: That chicken may
run, but it can't hide. God bless America.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been
told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough for us.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: Did you actually see it cross the road? Or did you
suddenly notice that it had appeared on the other side? You think you
saw it cross the road, but that's an illusion. How many more chickens
have to appear before you believe it?
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken Millenium Edition, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your check book, and Internet Explorer is an
inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: What color was the chicken? If you do your research,
you will find that it was a white chicken. Roads are always black. The
road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the
"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the
road, and there was much rejoicing.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was
going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other
side." Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. And, if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until
we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should
not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
COLONEL SANDERS: You mean I missed one?!
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