| Employee Training |
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| ::darkshadows:: (behind@u.org) |
2007/03/20 12:21 |
Employee Training
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training
(S.H.I.T). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone
else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job,
please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of
the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing
that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in Departmental
Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T) Those who fail to take
D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude
Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T).
Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they do not
have to do S.H.I.T anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job training
others. We can add your name to our Basic
Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T) Those who are full of
B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion
to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T)
If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of
Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)
Thank you,
Boss in General
(B.I.G S.H.I.T)
(B.I.G S.H.I.T)
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