Clean St. Patrick's Day Jokes
1
An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out
of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi
says, "Oy vey! What a wreck!" The priest asks him, "Are you all right,
Rabbi?" The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken." The priest pulls a
flask of whiskey from his coat and says, "Here, drink some of this it
will calm your nerves." The Rabbi takes the flask and drinks it down
and says, "Well, what are we going to tell the police?" "Well," the
priest says, "I don't know what your aft' to be tellin' them. But I'll
be tellin' them I wasn't the one drinkin'."
2
Casey and Riley agreed to settle their dispute by a fight, and it was
understood that whoever wanted to quit should say "Enough." Casey got
Riley down and was hammering him unmercifully when Riley called out
several times, "Enough!" As Casey paid no attention, but kept on
administering punishment, a bystander said, "Why don't you let him up?
Don't you hear him say that he's had enough?" "I do," says Casey, "but
he's such a liar, you can't believe him.
3
In hearing an Irish case of assault and battery, counsel, in cross
examining one of the witnesses, asked him what they had the first
place they stopped at.
"Four glasses of ale," was the reply.
"Next?"
"Two glasses of whiskey."
"Next?"
"One glass of brandy."
"Next?"
"A fight."
4
In West Kerry, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you
took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. You don't love
me any more...."
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you cook better now."
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