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Subject: Irish Marriage Jokes
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Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2007 01:52:11 GMT
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Irish Marriage Jokes
1
Paddy was an inveterate drunkard. The priest met him one day, and gave
him a strong lecture about drink.
He said, "If you continue drinking as you do, you'll gradually get
smaller and smaller, and eventually you'll turn into a mouse."
This frightened the life out of Paddy. He went home that night, and
said to his wife, "Bridget....if you should notice me getting smaller
and smaller, will ye kill that blasted cat?"
2
A surgeon and an architect, both English, were joined by an Irish
politician, and all fell to arguing as to whose profession was the
oldest.
Said the surgeon, "Eve was made from Adam's rib, and that surely was a
surgical operation."
"Maybe," said the architect, "but prior to that, order was created out
of chaos, and that was an architectural job."
"Shure now," interrupted the politician, "but somebody created the
chaos first."
3
Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor,
was standing on the deck of the Staten Island Ferry when a car got
loose and sent him into the river where he drowned.
The following Sunday his widow, all decked out in deepest black, was
standing on the church steps after Mass, receiving condolences and
enjoying every minute of it, when an old friend of the contractor came
up.
"I'm sorry, Mary, for your trouble," offered the friend. "Did Mike
leave you well fixed?"
"Oh, he did!" she said. "He left me almost a half million dollars."
"Well now, that's not bad for a man who couldn't read or write."
"Nor swim either," added the widow.
4
The American tourist in Dublin had been complaining a great deal about
the food.
"Here," he said to the waitress holding out a piece of meat for
inspection, "do you call that pig?"
"Which end of the fork, sir?" the waitress asked sweetly.
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