Humor about Drunk Irishmen
1
A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so
decided to ask at a home for something to drink. The lady of the house
invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a
wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and
giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he
had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ah, he's
not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."
2
Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving
their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a
depth of 50m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper
were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples,
the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years
ago had a nationwide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So
they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a
depth of 100m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass
and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had
a nationwide optical fibre network.
Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this
announcement, they ordered their scientist to take samples at a depth
of 200m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient
Irish 55,000 h years ago were an even more advanced civilisation, as
they already had a mobile telephone network in place.
3
Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the
enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over,
he sorely needed to relieve himself. The first door he entered
happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might
use the men's room. The clerk said certainly and told Casey the men's
room was the third door down the corridor on the left. Now Casey,
trying to appear sober, weaved his way down the hallway remembering
some of the directions. When he reached the third door, he turned
RIGHT , opened the door and immediately fell into the deep end of a
pool. The clerk, realizing Casey's mistake, ran down the hall and
burst through the door, prepared to save him, and heard Casey shout,
"Don't flush, I'm in here!"
4
For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a
lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as
they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide.
Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of
brandy tied under his chin.
"Hooray!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!"
"Yeah," said Mulvaney. "An' look at the size of the dog that's
bringin' it!"
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