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From: "::darkshadows::" <behind@u.org>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Gender Designation
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Date: Sun, 11 Mar 2007 12:11:09 GMT
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Gender Designation
Many Romance Languages (Italian, Spanish, French) give even inanimate
objects a gender. In French, for example, this determines whether you
use "la" or "le in front of the noun. If English designated things as
either male or female, here are a few of our recommendations...
COPIER: Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons
are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are
pushed.
HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000
years, but it's handy to have around.
HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to
light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
it gives a man pleasure. He'd be lost without it. Lastly while he
doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
SHOES: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging
out.
SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain
water.
SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a
wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
TIRES: Male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.
ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always
see right through them.
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