Q. Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the bagpipes?
A. It saves time.
Q. What's the definition of "optimism"?
A. A bagpiper with a beeper.
Q. If you drop a bagpipe and a watermelon off a tall building, which
will hit the ground first?
A. Who cares?
Q. How late does the bagpipe band play?
A. About a half beat behind the drummer.
Q. What's one thing you never hear people say?
A. Oh, that's the bagpipe player's Porsche.
Q: What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone?
A: A Rolling Stone says "Hey you, get off of my cloud!", while a
Scotsman says "Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!"
Q. What's the definition of a minor second?
A. Two bagpipes trying to play in unison.
Q. You are driving in the town one day, and see a member of the town
council and a piper crossing the road. Which one do you run over
first?
A. The councilman. Always business before pleasure.
Q. How do you make a piper's eyes sparkle?
A. Shine a light in his ears.
Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.
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