| IDIOT SIGHTINGS... |
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| ::darkshadows:: (here@there.net) |
2007/02/25 17:31 |
IDIOT SIGHTINGS...
Sighting #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the
airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage
without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know? "He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
Sighting #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to
cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged
co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I
explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She
responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"
Sighting #3: At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is
leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and
said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not
another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer
staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.
Sighting #4: I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip
back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her
system would not turn on.
Sighting #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership
to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally
locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic
working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from
the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and
discovered it was open." Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's
open!" "I know," answered the young man.- "I already got that side."
Sighting #6: I work in a hospital and one day the doctor and I were
asking a pregnant lady some questions upon admission to the maternity
ward. When we asked her who we should call in case of an emergency,
she stated "911".
Sighting #7: My daughter was going over to the neighbors house to
visit but didn't want to miss a call from her boyfriend so she took
the cordless phone with her. While at the neighbors she wanted to
check back at home to see if her younger brother was okay. My daughter
then picked up the neighbors phone and dialed our number. While
waiting for someone to answer the phone at home, the phone she brought
over with her began to ring. She immediately hung up the neighbors
phone and answered our phone. There was no one there. She wanted to
know who it was who called so she used our phone to call our house.
The line was busy. Getting very frustrated she left the neighbors to
go home and see who was on the phone. No one was on the phone. My
daughter could not figure out what was going on until someone
explained it to her.
Sighting #8: As systems manager of an answering service a few years
back I had the pleasure of working with an especially ignorant doctor.
Our system was trying to fax her messages to her place of business
when a message came back informing us her fax was out of paper. When I
called her office and told her about this she replied, "Oh, I'm all
out of bond paper. Could you fax me some?" I'm right fuckin' on it,
Babe.
Sighting #9: I was in McDonalds one time when the lady in front of me
ordered a cheeseburger and requested no cheese. Now I don't know about
you but that sounds like a fucking hamburger to me.
Sighting #10: Many years ago I worked in a delicatessen. The assistant
manager had burnt something in the oven and smoke was pouring from the
kitchen area. When the store manager came by and asked why she hadn't
opened the emergency fire exit door to allow the smoke to go outside
she said, "I thought about it but I couldn't find the key!"
Sighting #11: I was sitting at my University bar with some friends the
other day when we overheard a man talking on his mobile phone. He was
saying that he wanted to "buy, buy, buy" some shares and "sell, sell,
sell" some shares. Unfortunately for him, his mobile phone actually
began to ring!!! The laughter in the bar was heard for miles!! Now
that's what I call an IDIOT!
Sighting #12: A friend of mine and I were on a little road trip with
his wife driving. Everything was pretty quiet when she turned to us
and asked, "If you are driving 70mph, about how far would you go in an
hour?" Oh yeah, she's a smart one.
Sighting #13: Calling the telecommunication company to inform them my
phone didn't work and that when I picked up the receiver its
completely dead, the technician said from the other end "Are you
calling from the number of the phone that does not work?"
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