In article <kiu0u2pq9n492sineiiectpr2duiqfigpt@4ax.com>,
::darkshadows:: <here@there.net> wrote:
> Job Descriptions
>
> 1. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is
> shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
And with interest. He'll want your hat, too, and your galoshes for
being late.
> 2. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he
> predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
Not on the money, eh?
> 3. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the
> personality to be an accountant.
Accounts have personalities?
> 4. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because
> that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the
> plane.
Blowups happen.
> 5. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you
> had in a way you don't understand.
Does he?
> 6. A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a
> black cat that isn't there.
That doesn't count.
> 7. A topologist is a someone who doesn't know the difference between a
> coffee cup and doughnut.
Ever try to take a bite out of a coffee cup? Works better with donuts,
like the one I just had. Chocolate, sugar glazed, of course.
And a bottomologist is a banker who's account is in arrears?
> 8. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it
> a "brief."
Unless he jumps in the ring and wears boxers. We should all help him
fight to write better because we are athletic supporters, right?
> 9. A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a
> beautiful girl enters the room.
This, I know from experience, is quite true. And this is why I'm
posting this reply. ;-)
Well, actually, we are always watching everyone else. Could be why I
have a sore neck.
> 10. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
This too is true, but you knew. :-(
> 11. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and
> tells you the time.
I would watch that.
> 12. A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
And days in a daze, and weak weeks, and years of tears.
Been there, done that. Ah, sniff...
I was checking out which music to download and decided to post this
reply, which I think our readers might possibly have figured out
somewhat.
No, I'm not staying, so I'm returning now to my much less hectic, and
significantly reduced keyboard poking, retirement. :-)
Take care all,
Y Not
"Usually, we don't really appreciate what we have,
until after we loose it.
Don't wait for that to happen."
--
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