| Most Embarrassing |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (here@there.net) |
2007/02/18 15:37 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <here@there.net>
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Subject: Most Embarrassing
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Date: Sun, 18 Feb 2007 22:37:05 GMT
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Most Embarrassing
The following are the top four winners from a "Most Embarrassing
Moments" contest:
1. "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now,'
she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said
in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I
will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my
dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last
thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of
laughter."
2. "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at
home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my
girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after
making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my
girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we
didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When
we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a
whole crowd of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!' My entire family--aunts,
uncles, grandparents, cousins, and all my friends were standing there!
My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment
for what seemed like an
eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party
again."
3. "One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come
upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a
discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned
that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when
the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to
hear: 'PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE.' That was bad
enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood
the word 'Tampax' for 'THUMBTACKS.' In a business like tone, a voice
boomed back over the intercom: 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH
YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?'"
4. "This one actually happened at Harvard University in October of
this year in a biology class; the professor was discussing the high
glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her
hand and asked, 'If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of
glucose in male semen as in sugar?' 'That's correct,' responded the
professor, going
on to add statistical information. Raising her hand again, the girl
asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste sweet?' After a stunned silence, the
whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright
red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or
rather implied), she picked up her books with out a word and walked
out of class...and
never returned. However, as she was going out the door, the
Professor's reply was classic... Totally straight-faced he answered
her question, 'It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for
sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your
throat.''
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