| Not A Full Deck |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (here@there.net) |
2007/02/16 16:32 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <here@there.net>
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Subject: Not A Full Deck
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Date: Fri, 16 Feb 2007 23:32:40 GMT
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Not A Full Deck
Top 10 Winners in the 'Not Playing With a Full Deck' Contest...
1. I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at
the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly
reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need
to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the
end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter
some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she
better bring her daughter into the Emergency Room right away.
2. Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it
for a float on the river, they were surprised by a Coast Guard
helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was
homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is
inflated. They are no longer employed there.
3. A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown
Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.
Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to
give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen
him write the note and might call the police before he reached the
teller window. So
he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo
Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then
called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was
waiting in line back at Bank of America.
4. A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another picture... of handcuffs.
5. A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there
was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the
phone and told the guy that he had read the ad in the newspaper and
wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was
arrested.
6. R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing
their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit
neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked
him for identification. Gaitlan gave them his drivers license, they
entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan
because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a two
year old armed
robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.
7. Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as
well, but he refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over
21." The robber said he
was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't
believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of
his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and
agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the
bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier
promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber
that he got off the license. They arrested the
robber two hours later.
8. A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
9. Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor
store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on
videotape.
10. Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 am, flashed
a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
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