| Product Wording |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (here@there.net) |
2007/02/11 16:00 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <here@there.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Product Wording
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Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2007 23:00:18 GMT
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Product Wording
This is a list of what all the advertising terms on products really
mean...
NEW - Different color from previous design.
ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.
UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.
ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.
FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.
REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.
DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.
BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.
MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.
MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.
SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell.
LESS FATTENING - Now doesn't have the same fat content as pig stomach
lining.
HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.
NON-REFUNDABLE - We couldn't make it work long enough to ship it.
FAT FREE - You pay for the food, but the fat is free.
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