| Really Annoy People |
EasyNews, UseNet made Ea .. |
| ::darkshadows:: (here@there.net) |
2007/02/07 15:51 |
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From: "::darkshadows::" <here@there.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Really Annoy People
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Date: Wed, 07 Feb 2007 22:51:32 GMT
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Really Annoy People
Here are some ways to really annoy people big time...
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public
consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while
talking to others.
Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and
then pointing it at the screen.
Speak only in a "robot" voice.
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing
its your property.
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper,
99 copies.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Name your dog "Dog".
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather
conditions "to keep them tuned up".
Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!"
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors
upstairs for "violating your airspace".
Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a
"real hoot".
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with
a can of Lysol.
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to
your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people
play along to avoid looking ignorant.
Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the
neighbors you are a "spider person".
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with
prophesy."
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your
ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across
the room.
Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal
Howard Cossell voice.
To really annoy people, stand on a street corner, pointing a hair
drier at passing traffic, and watch it slow down.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask
you what you want, consult the sock. When the check comes argue with
the sock loud enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the
bill, throw him down and say "Fine you pay!" then leave.
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