The Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:
* I do physical labor
* I work at great depths
* I plunge head first into everything I do
* I do not get weekends off or public holidays
* I work in a damp environment
* I don't get paid overtime
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
* I work in high temperatures
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Yours truly,
Penis
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
* You do not work 8 hours straight
* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team
* You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit
other areas
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
* You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing
* You'll retire well before reaching 65
* You're unable to work double shifts before you have completed
the day's work
* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering
and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
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