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From: "::darkshadows::" <here@notthere.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Unavoidable Laws
Organization: theshadowlands
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Date: Sun, 21 Jan 2007 14:53:45 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:3283
Unavoidable Laws
These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...
1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with
grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal.
5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a
flat tire.
6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works
every time).
7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you
know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen
with.
9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
from the aisle arrive last.
12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the
coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker
room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly
sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know
what you are talking about.
17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop making it.
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