Dear friends, it is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the
following:
The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a severe yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy
was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned
out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The graveside
was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered
the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he
was kneaded".
Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled
with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie,
wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a
little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, he was considered a
roll model for millions.
Toward the end it was thought he'd rise once again, but he was no
tart. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have
two children, and one in the oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
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