In article <5gouj1lt83gh32gdkicq5eohvegq97ur2h@4ax.com>, F_Monk
<no@any.way> wrote:
> On Fri, 30 Sep 2005 10:07:07 -0500, Lil Stinker NP-g07
> <anywhere@uwant2.com> wrote:
>
> >On Fri, 30 Sep 2005 02:03:04 -0400, "::Y-Not::" <$9+-Y-Not@here.com>
> >wrote:
> >
> >>In article <i5bpj1dtee6jcknp9lk6qgfl4tgl3mnlgo@4ax.com>, Lil Stinker
> >>NP-g07 <anywhere@uwant2.com> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Benefits of Being a Female
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> We got off the Titanic first. We don't look like a frog in a blender
> >>> when dancing. Free drinks. Free dinners. Free moving (you get the
> >>> point). We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're
> >>> gay. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. New
> >>> lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. If we're not making
> >>> enough money we can blame the glass ceiling. Nothing crucial can be
> >>> cut off with one clean sweep. It's possible to live our whole lives
> >>> without ever taking a group shower. No fashion faus pas we make could
> >>> rival. The Speedo. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. If we
> >>> forget to shave, no one has to know. We can congratulate our teammate
> >>> without ever touching her fanny. If we have a zit, we know how to
> >>> conceal it We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our
> >>> privates are still there. If we're dumb, some people will find itcute.
> >>> We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. We have the
> >>> ability to dress ourselves. We have an excuse to be a total witch at
> >>> least once a month. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware
> >>> that we look like an idiot. Our friends won't think we're weird if we
> >>> ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. There are times when
> >>> chocolate really can solve all your problems. Gay waiters don't make
> >>> us uncomfortable. We'll never regret piercing our ears. We can fully
> >>> assess a person just by looking at their shoes. We'll never discover
> >>> we've been duped by a Wonderbra. We know which glass was ours by the
> >>> lipstick mark. We're NOT men.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Lil Stinker
> >>> "just havin' fun!"
> >>
> >>
> >> Women are Dumb Asses
> >>
> >>Did you know that women are dumb asses? I mean this literally.
> >>More accurately, they HAVE dumb asses.
> >>That's right. Their asses can't tell what they're sitting on. or even
> >>if they're sitting on anything at all, unless it's cold.
> >>
> >>Have you ever seen them sit? They just back up and drop. They never
> >>check what's on the seat, because even if it's something really bad,
> >>their butts won't feel it. They must realize this, even if
> >>subconsciously.
> >>I've been checking this out for years. Commuting by public
> >>transportation can be awfully boring.
> >>
> >>Those of you who live with a woman probably know this already, but for
> >>those who don't, I'll tell you how we find what we keep losing.
> >>If you can't find your car keys, check under the woman! Ten to one,
> >>she's sitting on them. If you have a remote starter on the keychain,
> >>you already know this.
> >>Can't find the TV guide? It's under the woman! Pressed flat, too. On a
> >>hot day, you can see the picture transfer on her behind. Best not to
> >>tell her that, though, but you should cover all her usual perches, or
> >>you could have the TV Guide cover reprinted everywhere.
> >>Notice the TV changing channels on it's own, but you can't find the
> >>remote? That's right, it's under the woman, and pointing across the
> >>room.
> >>Can't find the dog's chew toy? You'll know where it is, if when the
> >>woman shifts position, you hear a suspicious squeaking sound. The dog
> >>is sniffing at her crotch for a legitimate reason, this time.
> >>You can't find your wallet? Check under the woman. But don't bother to
> >>look for the money (your measly allowance). Women's butts suck wallets
> >>dry. You'll know what else is under there, if you see key impressions
> >>on it, and a TV Guide logo on the wallet.
> >>
> >>There is a direct correlation between the number of the things you
> >>can't find, and the size of the woman's behind. Big butts hide more.
> >>Then things tend to get stuffed into the cracks.
> >>In the CUSHIONS! What were you thinking?
> >>
> >>Want proof that women never check what they sit on?
> >>Simple:
> >>On a cold night, the colder the better, (evil grin), leave the toilet
> >>seat up. Her surprised scream will give you proof of all my
> >>contentions, and not to mention, will likely wake up the neighborhood.
> >>
> >>Yeah, you'll get your proof about her ass, but you won't get NEAR her
> >>ass for a week.
> >>So much for scientific experiments! Got a comfortable sofa?
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>Your post here, and the Hell post, reminded me to write down something
> >>I've been thinking about for for years.
> >>It's been a while since I posted an independent fun exposition, as I
> >>used to do in the Fort, so I just now created this one. Think I should
> >>post it in the Fort? :-)
> >>
> >>
> >>Yours in fun,
> >>
> >>
> >>Y Not
> >
> >
> >Why Not. :)
> >
> >Lil Stinker
> > "just havin' fun!"
>
> send it off to reader's digest and get some loot for it. or some othe
> rmag. may jump at ait :)
>
> F.
I used to do that, and still do, with a variety of publications.
But, it would be a security violation to do it with something I posted
in the newsgroups.
It's a shame. There is a lot I could share here, that some would be
astounded to know they all came from the same person. This would also
apply to my research. Well, we can't have everything. :-(
I wonder what Mouse was thinking, when he said in the Fort that I
should get a sense of humor. :-)
Take care,
Y Not
"You are unique,
just like everyone else."
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