Benefits of Being a Female
We got off the Titanic first. We don't look like a frog in a blender
when dancing. Free drinks. Free dinners. Free moving (you get the
point). We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're
gay. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. New
lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. If we're not making
enough money we can blame the glass ceiling. Nothing crucial can be
cut off with one clean sweep. It's possible to live our whole lives
without ever taking a group shower. No fashion faus pas we make could
rival. The Speedo. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. If we
forget to shave, no one has to know. We can congratulate our teammate
without ever touching her fanny. If we have a zit, we know how to
conceal it We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our
privates are still there. If we're dumb, some people will find itcute.
We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. We have the
ability to dress ourselves. We have an excuse to be a total witch at
least once a month. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware
that we look like an idiot. Our friends won't think we're weird if we
ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. There are times when
chocolate really can solve all your problems. Gay waiters don't make
us uncomfortable. We'll never regret piercing our ears. We can fully
assess a person just by looking at their shoes. We'll never discover
we've been duped by a Wonderbra. We know which glass was ours by the
lipstick mark. We're NOT men.
Lil Stinker
"just havin' fun!"
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